The little things

The below expresses, well, some of Neil's final weeks of reflection he shared.
Dean
__________________

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
-Robert Bault

Memories of Neil on his 71st Birthday

As I sit at my computer, looking out the front window over the sweeping yard where Neil and I grew up, memories are flashing back today, Neil's birthday. Actually, now that I think about it we DID grow up outside.
That's probably why Neil remained devoted to the great outdoors and all that it offered him throughout his life.

Here are a few of the strongest images that are flashing in front of me today:

The dust flying up from behind his great green Schwinn... as he'd tear down the road. Rapid, responsive acceleration was always important to my big brother. That bicycle is propped up against a horse stall in the old barn to this day, probably in the exact place he left it the day he purchased his green '55 Chevy.

Ah, how he'd speed shift through that "three-on-the column" classic. If only that car could have talked. I know it held secrets of Halloween pranks that were cooked up -- year 'round -- in that car. Halloween was never just an October holiday to Neil. You know how some people keep a cheerful Christmas Spirit in their hearts all year long? Well, Neil held onto that Halloween Feeling through all four seasons!

Of all the thousands of hours we spent together in the great outdoors here on the farm, we probably spent the most down at Morgan Creek. I'll always remember the impressive raft he built on top of a huge tractor tire's inner tube. We dreamed of sailing all the way to New Orleans, but discovered the payload carried the tube too deep in the water to even make it over the rocky rapids just 100 yards from where we set sail. So, we were content to keep it in the old swimmin' hole... spinning and pushing and overturning and screaming and splashing. And making lifelong memories.

Then, there were the firecracker capers. We went to Florida the first time when Neil was 15 and I was 12. Of course, he loved the Atlantic Ocean -- Briney Breezes is where we usually stayed, Amazing how close that spot is to Ellen's home today. As much as he loved Florida, he couldn't wait til we passed through Tennessee on the way home, where he'd stock up on a year's worth of cherry bombs and various other explosive devices. I'm not sure Mother ever figured out why her vacuum sweeper attachments never fit quite right after a new crop of bottle rockets were launched from the great ElectroLux tubes. It's not that she actually SAW what he did with those vacuum parts, some of which never made it back into the closet.

It's dreary today and there's no snow on the frozen ground. Now, most people would just wait out the arrival of Spring in Indiana's frozen tundra. Not Neil! Days like this, he'd grab his clubs and head for Hartley Hills Country Club for a quick 9. One such day, I questioned his sanity as he dashed off in his Chevy. "Naw, it's perfect today. I'll get a great roll!"

I miss you, big brother. But, you're very much with me forever.
Love,
Mary Anne

Birthday

The second since his passing. Neil's 71st birthday is today.

It's that time of year yet again!

Happy GroundHog Day!

There was always a plan and sometimes a piece of paper

Although well known for writing on cocktail napkins, menus, or anything that would accept ink - when there was a plan or idea that was not impromptu Neil would invariably use the Eaton graph paper - paper pad. There was always one at the top of his briefcase ready for him to grab. I rarely saw the other contents of the briefcase, but he was always getting out the pad. As much as he used these at home to express almost any idea- from a baseball play to a fire drill - I would guess everyone at Eaton got at least a memo or two on the graph pad? More than 10 years after his retirement these are still popping up in Neil's stuff.

Another memory though I could not find one: the pocket calculator. Neil always had a small calculator in his shirt pocket, prior to retirement. I don't recall him carrying one after. He was always calculating something.

Dean

A penny for your thoughts - 1909 VDB style.

One Christmas, all I wanted was a penny - a 1909 VDB (the first wheat penny) I saw at Ben Franklin. (I have no idea why a retail store like that had a coin collection in the rolling glass display case- but it did.) So I showed it to Dad- he didn't buy it, didn't seem interested. A couple days later I see a bulge in Dad's wallet shaped like the coin and coin holder. Well this shape in his wallet became more and more pronounced, of course, as the days passed. Every time he set his wallet down I could see the shape of the coin holder- and I knew what it was. But I couldn't tell him what it was or let on that I knew - it was a surprise right? This went on for, in kid time, about 6 months. It was probably, really, about two to three weeks? Well, anyway, the coin landed under the tree on Christmas day. The indention remained in his wallet for months later. The memory and the coin - the only one in my collection - has stayed with me forever.

Looking back on it now, it seems like his wallet was always set on the table with the coin indention up. Still not sure if he was careless, teaching me about patience, or if he just wanted to see how I would react? Irregardless, the $5 or so coin, in not so great shape, takes me back now 35 years to a five and dime store with my Dad.


I hope that this is and isn't like Danny DeVitto in "Throw Momma from the Train", when he showed off his coin collection? Movie clip link below.
Click here for Clip

Dean

Neil's ashes flow in this creek behind the Gilmer farm, where he played as a kid.

Gilmer/Butter's Farm House where Neil grew up - on Gilmer Rd, Greens Fork, Indiana. The long, long gravel drive on Gilmer Rd made a sound under the car - - the unforgetable, but familiar prelude to your visit there. (As a kid, to me, it felt like a visit back in time.) The creek is never the same. If you don't know the local weather a trip down the hill to see is always enlightening. Dry? High? Still? Passable? Dangerous?

Dean

Ellen's first visit to her Dad's stone - December 2011

Graveside - December 2011

Big Cars

I bought a 1983 Lincoln the other day. Not sure why except it is in such great shape. Everything about it reminds me of Neil and his 1985 Grand Marquis. I will never forget when he finally got rid of that car and brought home a little "toy" Mercury Sable company car. It was like they took away his 10 gauge and gave him a squirt gun. Not happy with the "mid-grade" car selection now afforded, every bump in the road the Sable couldn't take as the Grand Marquis had was a personal insult to him. I wonder if anyone at Eaton pointed out this obvious slight? He likely would not have missed it had the tables been turned, I am sure.

Dean

One Year

Neil passed away one year ago today. His year long absence has magnified his daily presence.

Dean

Those faces!

Neil hated anything gross and would always make the funniest faces when anything gross was near. The grandkids had a great time showing all of Neil's "gross" faces last night when they reached their hands into the pumpkin "guts." The wrinkled nose was a fan favorite from grandson Garrett! Usually the gross face got Neil out of some nasty jobs (as surely he couldn't stand it), but at Halloween we realized (we think) that it wasn't always an act!

Dean

Halloween and Neil Gilmer

We shouldn't let this Halloween Season pass without recalling it to be one of Neil's favorite times of the year. His inventiveness came out for many to enjoy and to take home memories ! We remember him fondly !!

Steve & Nancy Z

Greens Fork Musuem Brick

Brick was donated by Mary Anne Butters (Neil's sister) and is located on the West side of the Museum in the Garden area by the gazebo. Beautiful spot. If you get a chance go inside and check out the displays and Greens Fork history!

(Please see the link to the right of this post re: the Greens Fork Museum.)

"Gilmer Sprinkles" M & M's on Neil's Grave - July 2011

Mimi w/ the grandkids - July 2011

Kay's first visit to Neil's headstone, Greens Fork, IN July 2011

Severe Weather Updates

With all the destructive weather lately, it has reminded me that our own personal meteorologist, always closely monitoring the situation from 1,000 miles away is no longer sending us instant alerts (via email and phone.) These alerts were often delivered before the T.V. and radio even took notice, and always before the sirens went off! The sign-off for our weather man was always - "You may wanna keep a close eye on that. It doesn't look good."

Dean

Neil's Headstone at Sugar Grove Cemetery, Greens Fork, Indiana, May, 19 2011

April 2011 "Life at Hunter's Creek" Magazine Article

Credit/Citation: Life at Hunter's Creek Magazine, April 2011 edition, Volume XIV, issue 2, page 41. View online at : www.hunterscreek.net/Life-at-Hunter%27s-Creek-Magazine~141675~14540.htm

Honoring a Neighbor
By John Mongoven
On a beautiful, sunny afternoon
on March 15, more than 40
friends, neighbors and fellow golfers
joined together to honor and
remember Neil Gilmer. Neil was one of the founders of the Hunter’s
Creek Golf League, which tees off every Tuesday afternoon at the
Hunter’s Creek Golf Club.
A memorial bench with a distinguished bronze plaque was unveiled
and dedicated in Neil’s honor. At the dedication ceremony, I stated
that it was most appropriate for the bench to be placed between the
driving range and the putting green, as it would be an idyllic spot to
relax and enjoy the serene and beautiful surroundings
of the golf course. Neil spent quite a bit of
time there. He loved the game and was a very
good player.

After a welcome and thank you to those in attendance,
Kay Gilmer, Neil’s wife of 46 years, stepped
forward to thank everyone for their donations to
the bench fund and for their friendship to Neil.
Neil’s long-time playing partner, Tony Gonzalez,
then stepped forward to say a few heartfelt words
to pay homage to our friend. Tony expressed all of
our feelings of loss for this great man and how fitting
it was that Neil would be remembered every
time someone came to sit and reflect with Neil’s
angel looking on.
Neil passed away at the age of 69 on November
19, 2010 after a long and difficult battle with cancer.
A long-time resident of Orista Bay in Hunter’s
Creek, Neil was an addicted golfer - he was such a
fanatic about the game that he would sometimes
play more than 36 holes in a day! All you had to
do was mention the word “golf” and he was ready
to play.
Neil’s favorite course was Hunter’s Creek and
he often voiced his opinion that
Hunter’s Creek needed a community
golf league. So, along with
John Wiseman and Dan Rapp,
they put their heads together and
started one. I was able to join
their foursome every week, and,
whether you played well or poorly,
Neil made sure everybody had a
great time. His humor and dry wit
were a very important part of his
game.
Thanks to Neil and several others, the Hunter’s Creek Golf League has
become a very successful weekly community event. His beautiful memorial
bench will offer a place to take a moment to reflect and enjoy
the beauty of the day.

________________________________________________________
(Editor's Note: A special thank you to John M not only for this article- which is great. But especially for his, and the whole golf foursome mentioned above: for not only their dedication to golf, which Neil enjoyed, but their dedication to their friends. It was amazing how Neil perked up when they came by so often in his final weeks and how much they did for him both physically and emotionally when golf was the furthest thing from Neil's body (even if not his mind). Thank you John M, John W, and Dan R!)

Mimi and the Grandkids at the "bench" - March 2011

A Stiver’s Sendoff

Last night our small group of past and present Eaton associates got together for another “Boys’ Night Out”. Our venue was dinner in Chelsea, MI. On our way to the restaurant, we gathered at Stiver’s Bar and Grill. For those of you familiar with I-94 in SE Michigan, it’s located at exit 162. This was a favorite watering hole from our Eaton Battle Creek days when we made multiple trips each week between our offices in Battle Creek and our customers’ offices in the Detroit area. This old haunt was frequented by many of us, and usually in the company of Neil. It’s a low-brow place with nothing remarkable except their “fishbowl” martinis, which were an obvious favorite of Neil’s. Our group included Tom K., Merv W., Al W., Steve D., Curt S., John C., Simon N., Mike G., John L. and Chuck M. After each ordering a “Boombaton” of choice, we made a toast to Neil and savored the cocktails as well as some memories. The place seems unchanged from when we were last there, several decades ago for most of us, but we’re sure it was just as Neil would remember it. We trust that he was looking down on us with that smile on his face and wishing he could be there in person, but we know he was with us!



Here’s to you, Neil. Cheers!

TRIBUTE TO JOHN NEIL GILMER AT HUNTER’S CREEK GOLF CLUB - DEDICATION OF MEMORIAL BENCH – MARCH 15, 2011

TODAY IS A DAY OF JOY BECAUSE WE ARE PAYING TRIBUTE TO A DEAR FRIEND THIS TRIBUTE IS TO DEDICATE A BENCH TO MEMORIALIZE NEIL GILMER’S LIFE AT HUNTER’S CREEK GOLF COURSE. KAY, HIS WIDOW, IS HERE WITH US, ALONG WITH FRIENDS AND MEMBERS OF OUR GOLF LEAGUE IN WHICH HE USED TO PLAY.
NEIL WAS A NATIVE OF INDIANA, AND SPENT MOST OF HIS PROFESSIONAL LIFE WORKING AS AN ENGINEER FOR EATON CORP, AT THEIR DIVISION IN MICHIGAN. UPON RETIRING IN 1999, HE MOVED TO ORISTA BAY, A NEIGHBORHOOD OF HC. HE BOUGHT THE HOME HERE BECAUSE OF ITS PROXIMITY TO THIS GOLF COURSE. DURING ELEVEN YEARS, AS I WAS ALSO RETIRED AND HIS NEIGHBOR, I WAS PRIVILEGED TO PLAY MORE THAN A THOUSAND ROUNDS OF GOLF WITH HIM. WE WERE GOLFING BUDDIES, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, WE DEVELOPED A BROTHERLY FRIENDSHIP AND SHARED SO MANY MEMORIES. HE TAUGHT ME SO MANY THINGS, I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE AMERICAN CULTURE, ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE MID-WEST AND RURAL FARM LIVING.
CHARACTER
NEIL WAS CHARACTERIZED FOR HIS GREAT AND DEEP INTELLECT, SMARTNESS AND GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR. HE WAS A TRADITIONAL AND A WELL MANNERED GENTLEMAN. HE MADE SO MANY FRIENDS IN THE PLACES WHERE HE TOUCHED PEOPLES LIVES AS NEIGHBOR, STUDENT, AND HIS PEERS AT WORK. THIS IS, BY ITSELF, AN EXCEPTIONAL LIFE ACHIEVEMENT. HIS DEPARTURE WAS A BIG LOSS FOR THE FAMILY, FRIENDS AND TO THE COMMUNITY.
LOVE FOR GOLF GAME
HE EPITOMIZED THE LOVE FOR THE GOLF GAME AND HAD CONSIDERABLE KNOWLEDGE OF THE GOLF GAME AND ITS RULES. HE WAS ADDICTED TO GOLF, AND COULDN’T STOP. OUR USUAL GOLFING OUTINGS WERE FOR 27-36 HOLES. I WAS A STRONGER AND MUCH BETTER GOLFER THEN.

AS YOU KNOW, NEIL WAS A GOOD GOLFER AND AROUND THE GREENS HAD UNMATCHED ABILITY. HE WAS KNOWLEDGEABLE AND RESPECTFUL OF THE ETHICS OF THE GAME. WE WILL REMEMBER HIM FOR HIS SPORTSMANSHIP, AMONG OTHER THINGS.
I WAS AT THE GOLF COURSE WAS WHERE HE EXHIBITED SO MUCH PASSION AND JOY. IT WAS HERE WHERE HE DERIVED PLEASURE WITH THE MAJESTIC VIEW. HE USED TO PRAISE THE BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPING, LAKES, TREES, BIRDS, ETC. HE KNEW THE NAMES OF EVERY BIRD AND ANIMAL IN THE AREA.

HUNTER’S CREEK GOLF CLUB
SOME TIME AGO, WHEN GOLF COURSES IN FLORIDA STARTED TO EXPERIENCE OPERATIONAL PROBLEMS, THE OWNERS OF THIS COURSE ENTERTAINED THE IDEA OF SELLING IT. NEIL BECAME CONCERNED WITH THE FUTURE OF THE CLUB AND/OR THE USE OF THE LAND BY A FUTURE OWNER. I REMEMBER HIM SAYING, “THE LEAST WE NEED HERE IS ANOTHER OIL CHANGE OR SHOPPING AREAS IN THIS BEAUTIFUL PROPERTY.” THROUGH THE AUCTION SITE, WE OBTAINED FINANCIAL AND OPERATIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT THIS CLUB. AT OUR INITIATIVE, WE WORKED IN THE BACKGROUND IN AND EFFORT TO IDENTIFY POTENTIAL BUYERS WHO WERE COMMITTED TO THE GAME.
IT WAS GREAT NEWS WHEN THE OWNERS OF THIS CLUB DECIDED TO KEEP IT AND BROUGHT IN A NEW MANAGEMENT COMPANY TO RUN THIS CLUB. SUCH COMPANY INITIATED A PROGRAM TO IMPROVE THE CONDITION OF THE COURSE AND TO STRENGTHEN THE RELATIONS WITH THE COMMUNITY, ESPECIALLY H.C. RESIDENTS. POSITIVE RESULTS ARE VISIBLE TODAY: THIS CLUB IS NOW BETTER THAN EVER IN EVERY RESPECT. NEIL’S INITIATIVE, WITH SOME OF YOU, TO ORGANIZE OUR GOLF LEAGUE, WAS IN PART AN EFFORT TO PROMOTE THE CLUB AMONG THE RESIDENTS OF H. C., THUS HELPING THE CLUB’S MANAGEMENT IN THEIR EFFORTS.
WELL DESERVED TRIBUTE
IN SUMMARY, THE DEDICATION OF THE BENCH TO NEIL GILMER’S MEMORY AT H.C. GOLF CLUB, IT IS A WELL DESERVED TRIBUTE TO SOMEONE WHO HAD SO MUCH PASSION AND LOVE FOR THE GAME. MOREOVER, THIS IS RECOGNITION FOR HIS COMMITMENT TO THE SUCCESS OF THIS CLUB, AND PARTICIPATION IN THE COMMUNITY AFFAIRS.
THIS MEMORIAL BENCH WOULD REMIND US ABOUT NEIL’S LEGACY: HIS LOVE FOR THE COMMUNITY AND THE GOLF GAME. THIS WOULD MOTIVATE US TO MAINTAIN THE EFFORTS TO MAKE H.C. GOLF A BETTER PLACE. AS TO ME, THIS MEMORIAL WILL ALSO BECOME A PLACE FOR REFLECTION AND REMEMBERING THE GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES THAT WE HAD AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PROPERTY.

KAY GILMER AND ALL OF US THANKS THE MANAGEMENT OF H. C. GOLF CLUB FOR APPROVING THE MEMORIAL AT THEIR SITE, AND TO JOHN MONGOVEN WHO WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE, AND THOSE WHO CONTRIBUTED TO ITS COST.

ANTONIO GONZALEZ

The General

Herbie and I are thinking of our good friend, The General, today. We sure do miss him. Our love to Kay, Ellen, Dean and family. Jean

70th Birthday

Neil would have been 70 years old today.

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Link to Ground Hog Day event 2/2/11 - upper right of blog -------->>>>>>

Best part is around 4 minutes or so into video clip.

The Big Holiday: It's coming

Hi Guys,

Don't forget to find your copy of Ground Hog Day to watch (several
times? ;) ) during the big snowstorm on Wed in honor of Punxsutawney
Neil. I don't think shadows of any type will be seen in Michigan if the
10-12" of snow predictions hold true...

Don

Steve Z's tribute 12/5/10, Greens Fork, IN

(Editor's Note: Steve, thank you for passing on your written notes to me from your nice spoken tribute to Neil)

NEIL GILMER MEMORIAL 12/5/10

It's an honor to be here today to pay respects to Neil who would call today the "frozen tundra" he didn't miss after moving to Florida!

I first met Neil in 1990 upon joining Eaton in Southfield, MI. We quickly discovered we had each grown up in East Central IN- some 30-40 miles apart. In fact, my brother was at Butler University during the time Neil attended there.

Neil was a bedrock part of a great sales group which was very successful in the engine valve and lifter business for Eaton. He was a "go-to:" person for this group because of his extensive product and market knowledge and his unique strategic thinking ability which he was willing to share.

Upon our respective retirements in the late 1990's and upon his and Kay's move to Orlando, my wife Nancy and I spent more time with Neil and Kay- visiting, going boating, going to the Cape and other venues, especially eating out ! We were together on 9/11/01 and shared concern that evening for the safety of our nation. And we were together last March just before his unexpected diagnosis.

Neil and Kay introduced us to the Disney village of Celebration and assisted as we bought and furnished a small condo there. Neil became a watchman for our condo between our stays and we looked forward to our visits- and golf- over the years.

I was fortunate to have several rounds of golf with Neil and his great golfing neighbor and "brother", Tony Gonzalez. The friendship established between these two was great to see and be around. I can identify in a personal way with the kind words of Tony from last Sunday's memorial in Orland reprinted in Neil's website.

Neil appreciated golf courses where play was fast and a minimum of time was spent looking for lost balls in the water or the rough. He wasn't impressed with more complicated, manicured courses with lots of rough, waste areas or water- thats for hunting and fishing, not golfing!

It was during this time that Neil shared a Neilism with Nancy and I or our safety in Florida. "In any body of water, assume there is an alligator !"

As mentioned, we enjoyed getting together to eat at various venues. Of special liking was the Seasons 52 restaurant which ad a unique menu change every week of the year - thus the name. Nancy and I are pleased that a new Seasons 52 is being built in Indy. I'm sure we will frequent it often and will always remember Neil and Kay.

In late August, I was privileged to sped a week with Neil and Kay trying to help when it seemed like there as an event nearly every hour (24/7) and Kay was straining to keep up. My help was incidental to what I experienced ! I saw Kay as a most dedicated and tender care giver to Neil, her life's love. I also saw Neil as a tender and kind receiver of this love and care even when in dire circumstances and need. He handled his situation like the statesman hew was- with dignity !

I also saw the deep love, respect and support of Ellen and Dean. I saw the care and support of many medical people- Valarie, Rose, Carrie and many others affected by Neil's kind and thankful attitude. I saw the overwhelming concern and support of many neighbors and friends.

I not only saw all these happening but "felt" the deep love and concern in a special way. I was blessed for having been there!!

Steve and Nancy Z

Our Wake for Neil

Tonight was our informal “wake” for Neil with a few of his old work associates. Despite our tremendous sadness at losing him, we reveled in old stories and remembrances of Neil. We met for a couple of beers before dinner and then retired to Win Schulers in Marshall for dinner. This is a place that Neil had the opportunity to dine at many times during his career and was a comfortable atmosphere for our celebration of Neil’s life. Here is a picture of the group. Around the table are Chuck M., Al W., Steve D., Jose’ M., Tom K., Curt S., Merv W., John C. and Mike G. As you will see, we are all toasting Neil with his favorite cocktail, a vodka martini:







And to document the evening, we all signed a cocktail napkin in Neil’s honor. After all, from our experience, some his best ideas were captured after a few drinks on similar paper products over the years! This napkin, along with the picture of Neil, will be entered into the archives of the Eaton family.







It was a therapeutic evening for all of us, but we are not finished with our celebration yet. Our next get together will be held at Stivers, near Chelsea, Michigan, one of our old favorite watering holes on the way to customer meetings in Detroit when we all lived in the Battle Creek area. This is where many of us consumed many martinis with Neil over the years, so we’ll be toasting one more “Fishbowl Martini” in his honor. We will continue to document our future celebrations as they occur. And some of our future activities will include a round of golf, which I’m sure Neil will approve of.



Neil, we’re sure that there are buyers in heaven just to provide entertainment for you. And don’t forget, as you told us many times, “you can tell they are lying when their lips are moving”! Thanks for the many life’s lessons and the great memories!



Chuck M.

Thank you Rev. Carolyn and Dan!

A special thank you to Carolyn (Mom's dear friend) who did such a wonderful job at the Orlando service. And who checked in on Mom and Dad all the time over the last six months as well. And then she and her husband Dan were brave enough to endure the frigid weather here in Indiana for yet another wonderful service yesterday, despite not feeling well most of the week.

We thank you and Dan so much!

Have a safe trip home and enjoy the warm weather

Dan and Carolyn at the airport on their way back to Florida

Indiana Pictures 12/5/10 (more to come)

Thank you to everyone. More posts coming soon!

There's lots more to say. Please send any of your pictures, thoughts, or writings to johndgilmer@gmail.com and we will get them posted right away here. We hope you will check back here now and then as neilgilmer.com isn't going away. We have 100s of letters and pictures that we will be posting here as time permits- and we can type them all up/get them uploaded- especially things people wrote about Neil over the last several years.

We will also be putting together highlights from the two Celebrations of Life over the next week or so. We hope to have a video uploaded of the Orlando Service as well.

If anyone has pictures of either of the two services please email them when you get a chance.

We, as always, encourage you to send anything/anytime here.

Thank you to all- your support through all of this made it bearable.

With love, thanks and gratitude,

The Gilmer Family

Dad

Two days before dad's passing he made sure to ask me if I would be sure to take care of mom, even if that meant going with her to Indiana, I said, "Don't worry Dad I will do whatever is needed to make sure she is ok." He said, "OK, good!" Love you sweetie!

Then on November 19th after asking everyone to leave the room I had one last moment with my dad....

Ok, I unlike Dean did not or was not able to find the words to tell dad all my thoughts, because truly I was hanging on with him in HOPE that somehow things would turn around by the hand of God... but in the last moments we both knew it was Good - bye for now so here were my simple but heart felt words to him.

"I now hearing is the last to go, so just know dad - I am grateful that you are my dad, and although you didn't think you could be a dad when starting out, I think you did a great job and I am so proud to have you as my daddy! I love you and we'll meet up again one day. Thank you for being MY DAD!"

Prior to these last few moments together I just did my best to show him how much I loved him in ways I never knew I could even do... even foot and head tickles (which he loved, because they so relaxed him) and beyond.... hoping he knew by my actions more than my words just how much he meant to me!

As I reflect on my dad even now, two weeks later (which is hard to believe time has passed so quickly) but here are the areas I have come to see as our common ground (so to speak...) similarities in my dad and me! (*I only really started recognizing some of these in my 40's and especially after his first service many friends came up to me and shared how much like my dad I really am.) Who knew all these existed in me too.... so to dad, I carry on your legacy with:

Humor, Love of music (althought I love Contemporary Christian and you loved Classical) it inspires us both, Alone Quiet Time (to think and learn), the love of animals and nature, The Sky ( I see the hand of a creator, you knew much more of the science side of it all), How to be an Encourager when needed, Sports of all kinds, A need to know how things operate on one level or another (Knowledge) we applied this different, you would offer wisdom and insight learned, and I to help others through difficulties, Friends for Life (and how to maintain them and treasure them), the gift of Story Telling and seeing other quirks and enjoying them in spite of themselves, Special Events (Ground Hog Day & Halloween) and Holidays! And we also both hate to be "Boxed In" or not allowed choices or FREEDOM!

I loved my dad so much and so appreciated the 6 months we shared and grew closer than ever! Miss you dad and think about you so much with all this Christmas music and movies.... wow were you a large part of Christmas for me!

Love,

Ellen

Memorial Service Sunday December 5, 2010 INDIANA

Indiana "Memorial Service"
Date: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Address: Greensfork Community Center
117 E Pearl Street
Greens Fork, IN 47345
Time: 1:00pm
Luncheon to follow service followed by an evening get-together for anyone interested in spending more time with the Gilmer Family at 6:00pm at the Raintree Inn in New Castle, IN.

My last (but not final) conversation with Dad

This is what I recall from my last conversation with Dad on Sunday November 14, 2010.

__________

Dad was alert. There were a couple nurses just outside his bedroom, who had been hovering over him for what seemed like hours working on the colostomy bag. Ellen took them away after we started talking/crying and closed the door.

After crying for quite a while in his hands which were still fairly strong,
I told Dad how much I would miss him and talking to him. Especially on the phone. I told him that much of his advise rings in my ear without ever talking to him though, and thus he would always be with me, as often I have had conversations seeking his advise in my mind when he was nowhere present, and that these sessions would continue. I told him that I often knew what he would say before he spoke. I told him that he was my hero, and about how much I learned from him and about how much he had done for all of us.

I let him know that as a very private man he went through a very degrading process to his body and privacy and that he handled it with incredible dignity. Crying he said "I hope so."

He told me that he was concerned about all of us. I told him not to worry that he had taught us all well and he knew that. He said "Are you sure." I said yes and he said, "I think so, but I worry about all of you." I told him he knew so. I asked him how much he was able to help us over the last six months, and he said "none." And I asked him how we all did and he said "just fine". I told him, then, you know so (that we would all be all right) and he said. "Yes, I know." I told him that we would all take care of each other. He said "I know, thank you."

I also told him, if he could, to check here now and then as I was sure that we would all have some things to say to him through the years. He said "ok I will". (with kind of a 1/4 chuckle)"

I let him know that I hoped/thought we would meet again, and that I guess this is arrivederci. He repeated "arrivederci" cried and closed his eyes. I tickled his feet (one of his favorite things, only slightly in front of attaching a foreign word or phrasing to a situation) until I thought he was asleep. I flew back to Indiana just an hour or so later, he died 5 days after our last conversation; Before I could return for Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful that Mom, Ellen and Mary Anne were all there those final days and that Dad left us peacefully.

'Til we meet again Dad,

Dean

Tony G's tribute 11/28/10 Orlando, FL

(Editor's Note: Tony was kind enough to pass on the notes from his lovely spoken tribute to Neil on Sunday. He thought he might have been hard to understand due to English not being his native tongue and the emotion of the day. The emotion, in the end, was part of the message- and made it better. And the message was crystal clear. Thank you Tony!)


NEIL GILMER’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE MEMORIAL
PEACE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
NOVEMBER 28, 2010

INTRODUCTION
THANK YOU KAY, ELLEN AND DEAN FOR ALLOWING ME TO EXPRESS SOME WORDS ON THIS CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR SOMEONE WE ALL LOVED AND CHERISHED. WE WERE FORTUNATE AND BLESSED TO HAVE HAD NEIL AMONG US IN OUR LIVES. HE WAS AN OUTSTANDING HUSBAND, FATHER, GRANDFATHER, FRIEND AND CITIZEN. HIS DEPARTURE IS DIFFICULT TO ALL, AND INDEED IT IS TO ME, AS WE BECAME VERY GOOD FRIENDS. I PROUDLY CALLED HIM BROTHER.

WHEN KAY & NEIL MOVED TO ORISTA BAY, ELEVEN YEARS AGO, NEIL AND I PLAYED GOLF A FEW TIMES BEFORE I MET KAY. WHEN I MET HER, SHE SAID TO ME: “YOU ARE GOING TO BE GOOD FOR NEIL”. I TOOK HER COMMENT AS A COMPLIMENT AND AS VOTE OF APPROVAL. THEREAFTER, WE HAD GREAT TIMES. DURING ELEVEN YEARS WE PLAYED MORE THAN 1,000 ROUNDS OF GOLF, MANY TIMES 27-36 HOLES PER DAY.

INTELLECT
NEIL WAS A PERSON OF GREAT INTELLECT. HE HAD DEEP KNOWLEDGE OF ABOUT EVERY CONCEIVABLE TOPIC, FROM THE SIMPLE ONES TO THE MOST COMPLICATED: TECHNICAL, SCIENTIFIC, THE SPACE, UNIVERSE, ARTS, ETC. HE TALKED ABOUT MANY TOPICS WITH AUTHORITY USING SIMPLE WORDS AND TERMS. HE WAS PROFESSORIAL AND WANTED TO BE CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD. I ENJOYED TALKING TO HIM FOR ENDLESS HOURS AS WE NEVER RAN OUT OF TOPICS, IT WAS NEVER BORING.

GOLF
NEEDLESS TO SAY, THAT NEIL WAS A GOLF ENTHUSIAST. AS A GOLFER HE WAS A TRUE LOVER OF THE GAME AND QUITE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND RESPECTFUL OF THE RULES AND ETHICS OF THE GAME. VERY IMPORTANTLY, HE WAS AND EXCELLENT GOLFER WITH GREAT ABILITY TO PLAY AROUND THE GREENS WHERE HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST.

THINGS WE SHARED
WE SHARED SO MANY STORIES FOR YEARS, INCLUDING THOSE OF OUR OWN FAMILIES. WE COUNSELED EACH OTHER ABOUT PROBLEMS AND DECISIONS. THERE ARE SIMILARITIES IN OUR UPBRINGING. ALTHOUGH FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, WE HAD TO HUSTLE IN AGRICULTURAL COMMUNITIES LIVING WITHIN CERTAIN LIMITATIONS IN DIFFICULT TIMES.
WE ALSO HAD SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS IN BUSINESS AND THE CORPORATE WORLD, AS WE DEALT WITH LARGE ENTITIES AND TRAVELED TO MANY COUNTRIES. WE ALSO ANALYZED AND DISCUSSED PROBLEMS IN OUR SOCIETY AND IN THE WORLD, ALSO THE CHALLENGES ON THE U.S. ECONOMY IN THE GLOBAL MARKET. HE DISCUSSED THOSE ISSUES WITH KNOWLEDGE AND FACTS.

THE CLASSICAL MUSIC
THE CLASSICAL MUSIC ALSO UNITED US. BOTH OF US HAD MUSICAL EDUCATION AND WERE LOVERS OF IT. HE TOLD ME THAT HIS MOTHER INSPIRED HIS INTEREST IN CLASSICAL MUSIC - AND HE WAS VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE OF IT. AS WE BOTH HAD EXTENSIVE COLLECTIONS OF MUSIC, WE ENJOYED LISTENING TO MUSIC AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.

FRENCH - WHEN YOUNG, HE SPENT A YEAR IN PARIS STUDYING FRENCH AT LA SORBONNE AND HE SPOKE FRENCH VERY WELL.

HUMOR
TO TALK ABOUT NEIL, WE HAVE TO MENTION HIS HUMOR. THIS WAS ONE OF HIS STRONGEST CHARACTERISTICS. HE WAS QUITE HUMOROUS AND WAS ALWAYS TELLING AND PLAYING JOKES ABOUT EVERYTHING. JOKES ABOUT HIS LIFE EXPERIENCE OR SPONTANEOUS ONES BASED ON THE SITUATION AT HAND. HE WOULD PLAY A SMALL PRANK AT ANY MOMENT. HE ENJOYED HUMOROUS MOVIES AND LOVED RECALLING LINES AND JOKES FROM THEM, ESPECIALLY “CADDY SHACK”, “SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT” AND “THE GREEK FAT WEDDING”. DUE TO HIS UNIQUE MEMORY HE COULD RECITE THE LINES AND RECALL THEIR SCENES ACCURATELY. HE HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS AND MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH.

NEILISM
IN HIS WORKPLACE (MAINLY AT EATON), HE BECAME FAMOUS FOR WHAT THEY CALL NEILISMS. THESE ARE PHRASES AND LINES TO ILLUSTRATE AN ISSUE OR SITUATION, MOSTLY WITH HUMOR. NEIL USED THOSE TO MOTIVATE HIS CO-WORKERS AND THEY BECAME COMPANY SLOGANS TO THE EXTENT THAT HIS PEERS PUBLISHED A PAMPHLET WITH MORE THAN A 100 OF THOSE PHRASES. TO PROVOKE ME TO PLAY GOLF FOR LONGER HOURS, HE USED ONE OF THOSE LINES: “NEVER, NEVER LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE”, OR A RHETORICAL QUESTION- “ARE WE GOING TO LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE?”

SOMETIMES, WE LEFT MONEY ON THE TABLE. TODAY, I WISH I HAD STAYED WITH NEIL “ON THE TABLE” A LITTLE LONGER.

CLOSING
NEIL WAS A LEGEND AT WORK AND TO HIS NEIGHBORS AND FRIENDS. HE WAS AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND MANY. TODAY I TELL TO MY FRIEND AND BROTHER, THANKS FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP, THE BEAUTIFUL DAYS OF GOLF AND GREAT MEMORIES. I WILL CHERISH OUR MEMORIES AND REMEMBER YOU FOR EVER. WHEN I ALSO MOVE TO THAT OTHER SPIRITUAL PLANE OF LIFE, I WILL LOOK FOR YOU TO RENEW OUR FRIENDSHIP AND CONTINUE PLAYING GOLF MUCH MORE.

PROMISE THAT THEN; WE WILL”NOT LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE.”

ANTONIO GONZALEZ
NEIGHBOR, FRIEND AND GOLF BUDDY 11-28-2010

























OTHER EXTRA TOPICS

GOLF LEAGUE
DURING YEARS THE RESIDENTS OF H.C. TRIED UNSUCCESSFULLY TO ORGANIZE A GOLF LEAGUE FOR OUR RESIDENTS. THE PREVIOUS MANAGEMENT OF THE GOLF COURSE WAS INSENSITIVE TO OUR REQUEST. THREE YEARS AGO, HAVING A NEW MANAGEMENT AT THE CLUB, NEIL AND JOHN WISEMAN SUCCEEDED IN ORGANIZING THE GOLF LEAGUE THAT PLAYS WEEKLY AT THE HC GOLF COURSE. NEIL WAS PROUD OF THIS ACCOMPLISHMENT. THIS LEAGUE HELPED HIM MADE NEW GOLF FRIENDS.

FRUGALITY
NEIL GAVE A NEW PERSPECTIVE TO THE FRUGALITY CONCEPT. HE WAS PROUD OF HIS FRUGALITY AND WAS VERY ATTENTIVE AND OVER-CAUTIOUS WHEN DEALING WITH HIS MONEY FOR WHICH HE BECAME POPULAR. THERE WAS AN EXCEPTION TO THIS. IT WAS WHEN HE AND OTTO AND NANCY CANNIS BOUGHT A GORGEOUS BOAT VALUED IN MORE THAN $200K WHEN PURCHASED. AS HE WAS SO FRUGAL, I HAD TO INQUIRE HIM, - HOW DID YOU REACH THE DECISION TO BUY SUCH AN EXPENSIVE ASSET? IN A HUMOROUS MANNER HIS ANSWER WAS A PHRASE THAT BECAME POPULAR WHEN DURING THE TECHNOLOGY STOCK MARKET CRISIS AROUND YEAR 2000. HE SAID, “THAT WAS A MOMENT OF IRRATIONAL EXUBERANCE”.

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT
NEIL GOT INVOLVED IN SEVERAL ACTIVITIES OF THE HUNTER’S CREEK COMMUNITY. HE SERVED ON THE ORISTA BAY NEIGHBORHOOD COMMITTEE FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND REPRESENTED US ON THE H.C. MASTER ASSOCIATION BOARD.

HALLOWEEN
ONE OF HIS FAVORITE FESTIVITIES WAS HALLOWEEN. USING THE EXPERIENCE HE BROUGHT FROM MICHIGAN, HE HELPED TO ORGANIZE THE FIRST HUNTER’S CREEP NIGHTS HAUNTED HOUSE AND HAYRIDE. THIS WAS AN ASTONISHING SUCCESS AND NEIL USED TO DRESS IN THE MOST DREADFUL COSTUMES AND OUTFITS, SUCH AS "THE GRIM REAPER" TO SCARE PEOPLE. HE HAD MUCH FUN DOING THIS.

Celebration of Life Details

Florida "Celebration of Life" Service
Date: Sunday, November 28, 2010
Peace United Methodist Church
13502 Town Loop Blvd.
Orlando, FL 32837
Phone: 407-438-8947
www.peaceumcorlando.org
Time: 12:30pm
Luncheon to follow service.

Indiana "Memorial Service"
Date: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Address: Greensfork Community Center
117 E Pearl Street
Greens Fork, IN 47345
Time: 1:00pm

We remember Neil

Like others, we will miss the unique and jovial humor of Neil. We will also miss his kindness and thoughtfulness especially as host along with Kay as hostess at numerous occasions, especially in Florida after our respective retirements from Eaton. A very special memory is we being together the evening of 9/11/01 and sharing a joint concern for our nation and security.

In the automotive supplier business, Neil earned the respect of both his internal customers, our technical and manufacturing staffs, as well as our external customers who knew and trusted him as knowledgeable about our products as applied to their needs - a very unique and valued quality ! Neil's several acquaintances at nearby Cummins Engine in Columbus, IN would attest to his prowess. It was indeed a pleasure (and fun) to work with him and to enjoy the many successes along the way.

Steve & Nancy Z
Muncie, IN

Florida/Indiana Celebration of Life Information coming soon

We will be posting all the details/directions/accomidations for the two services for Neil. One in Orlando and one in Indiana within the next 24 hours or so.

Your Dad Is a Legend

You Dad was an inspiration to so many John. I had the pleasure of working with him during my years at Eaton and still remember many of his classic quotes:

· “Part number and design changes are our best friends.”

· “Most problems are the result of improbable blunders and incredible oversights. Plan thoughtfully so they don’t happen as often.”

· “The bigger the customer, the more likely that someone there does not like you.”

· “When your competitor is down – this is generally a good time to kick him.”

· Listening is impossible with a tongue on the loose.

He had so many other great comments, but I’m sure others have weighed in as well. Rest well Neil, you will always be in our hearts. If the good Lord has anything to sell, rest assured that the team just got an all American.

Best Regards / Namaskar / Üdvözlettel / Mit freundlichen Grussen / 祝好/ よろしく / Saludos / Meilleures Salutations / 안부를 전하며 / Saluti

John J. McG
Chief Procurement Officer
BorgWarner WHQ

(Editor's Note: See posts from May 21, 2010 and a few day's before for a comprehensive list of business quotes and ideas from Neil.)

One of Neil and Kay's biggest Angels! Thank you Mary Anne!

We are so grateful Neil's sister, Mary Anne, could be there for Dad in his most trying days. We know how hard it was on her to see her big brother in such shape - but she took care of all the things that we just couldn't.

Love,
Dean