www.NeilGilmer.com: 10 gauge fun

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

10 gauge fun

I am the youngest of 3 first cousins born within 7 months of each other. We were best known as trouble, especially when Neil was with us. He could always think of some pretty creative things to do to/with cats, dog, electric trains etc.
The story that comes to mind is the hunting expedition we experienced in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I drove my '86 Dodge 4-WD truck w/truck back camper from Indiana to Farmington Hills, Michigan, picked up Neil and I drove up to the UP. Chris was not with us until we picked him up at the Marquette airport. The flight had been a white knuckler for Chris and he was really glad to see us.
Neil and I hunted, Chris stayed in the camper and read. (Chris has no killer instinct), Neil and I went out in 10" of snow at 10 below and set up over an evergreen swamp at dawn. About 45 minutes later a car full of "idiots in orange" pulled in next to our truck, piled out with rifles and scattered over the hillside behind us. Any shot they would have taken would have been over us. We didn't like the odds and left. We went a couple of hundred yards in the truck. Neil stopped me, got out and shot several rounds from his 10 gauge goose gun. We figure they got deserved lead shower.
We shot nothing but saw lots of deer on top of cars and trucks. Neil said, "everybody gets a deer", and repeats it every time we recall the trip.
Hurry up and get back to the course Neil. The other golfers need a good laugh. Cousin Dan

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Retirement Highligts, Selected Works, J Neil Gilmer, Part I June 1999 (Editor's note: fundamental reading if you sell anything)

AKA NEILISMS:

1. Excellent customer service generally baffles most buyers, so baffle them. Remember, a good deal is normally a perception.
2. Never, never leave money on the table!
3. Charging what the market will bear is fundamentally a good idea! But don't make it obvious.
4. Price leaders generally fool themselves -- with help from the friendly buyer.
5. Two rules apply here:
a. We're here to make money
b. Never forget "A" above
6. Part number and design changes are our best friends.
7. Buyers generally do not give you the whole story -- only the portion that is favorable to them or a version that you'll use to defeat yourself.
8. Most engineers like to play buyer.
9. Remember, if you start a little high, you'll have some room to make the buyer look good. Plus, you will generally obtain a fair price or terms. We should not feel we are above this tactic.
10. Never reveal difficulties that go beyond the scope of the question or task at hand. Remember, perceptions are very important.
11. Price alone is not our game. Differentiate yourself from the pack. Find it and use it.
12. Your competitors have weakness. Find them and exploit them. Be careful, however, not to "bad mouth" your competitor.
13. Your competitor's communication problems are generally worse than yours. Why? You are more effective and persistent then he/she.
14. Most situations generally are a result of an improbable series of blunders and incredible oversights. This is the normal human condition throughout history. Small improvements here put you in a unique position relative to the pack. Plan ahead so screwups don't happen as much.

Things Just Seem to Be This Way (1-42), Selected Works, June 1999 (continued)

1. Competitors who give away samples are in the best possible position to judge their true worth. Samples that are sold at a reasonable price invariably indicate a funded customer program.
2. Prevention is well down the priority list.
3. Small daily applications of maintenance to seemingly mundane matters prevent panics at the most inappropriate times.
4. Closets and desks always somehow manage to be full.
5. Two birds in the bush are more than enough to initiate a development program.
6. Salespeople who allow expense reports to fall into arrears convince everyone that account coverage and price increases are probably in worse shape.
7. Thinking big generally scares everyone
8. An idea before its time is functionally equivalent to no idea at all.
9. People seem to always manage to do what they want to do.
10. Bright and shiny are frequently confused with quality. This can be exploited upon occasion.
11. When it comes to either the principle or the money, you can be 99% certain it's the money.
12. More is generally learned from a customer at lunch, dinner or a social event than all day in his or her office. The CIA and KGB know well this concept. Cloak and dagger is generally appealing anyway.
13. The bigger the customer, the more probably it is that someone there doesn't like you.
14. Associates may not have difficulty keeping secrets, it's just the people they tell that have trouble. Best kept secrets are generally not interesting.
15. Profits concern buyers much more than they bothered Karl Marx.
16. Paradoxically, most corporations secretly desire to be a monopoly while simultaneously extolling the virtues of a competitive market.
17. Rumors generally have some basis in fact.
18. Contingency plans generally imply that the prime path may be flawed. A show ticket is a kind of contingency plan. The scientific approach is almost always trial and error in clever disguise.
19. When more and more data are needed, you should be convinced that there is extreme difficulty in making a decision.
20. Grey is normally the shade. Black or white is easy pickin's, so it generally never gets to you.
21. A good memory is an excuse for a poor filing system.
22. Never use the word, "bottom line" in a negotiation unless you really mean it.
23. Whether it is or not, your buyer should always believe that he's getting a good deal.
24. The more specific the instructions, the more confused someone becomes.
25. Written instructions are seldom acted upon unless confirmed verbally.
26. To make sure that somewhat important written information is promptly read, put it in a confidential envelope.
27. "Rush" generally means someone screwed up somewhere. This is normally an opportunity in disguise.
28. Only B.S. when you know the subject inside and out.
29. A ringing phone will frequently pre-empt personal appearance.
30. A buyer will try to discount technical support, etc., to manipulate you into the price arena. That's his job -- expect it.
31. "What have you done for me today?", is frequently all that matter.
32. Beware of the deal that offers the buyer the honeymoon tonight for the marriage tomorrow.
33. Decision by intuition is generally: experience x insufficient information / time bind
34. Never forget that J-I-T really means almost late.
35. Finger pointing has become the norm in our culture.
36. Some people really enjoy being mad.
37. Animal behavior is remarkably familiar. Tired horses always manage to run to the barn at the end of the day.
38. The best plans generally overlook something.
39. We should avoid self-embarrassment by telling all we know.
40. Part of the story is always good for a snap judgment.
41. After carefully analyzing all the facts, it is normal to rush off and make an emotional decision.
42. "Getting even" generally has a higher price than expeted.

(more to come later on this post)