Steve Z's tribute 12/5/10, Greens Fork, IN

(Editor's Note: Steve, thank you for passing on your written notes to me from your nice spoken tribute to Neil)

NEIL GILMER MEMORIAL 12/5/10

It's an honor to be here today to pay respects to Neil who would call today the "frozen tundra" he didn't miss after moving to Florida!

I first met Neil in 1990 upon joining Eaton in Southfield, MI. We quickly discovered we had each grown up in East Central IN- some 30-40 miles apart. In fact, my brother was at Butler University during the time Neil attended there.

Neil was a bedrock part of a great sales group which was very successful in the engine valve and lifter business for Eaton. He was a "go-to:" person for this group because of his extensive product and market knowledge and his unique strategic thinking ability which he was willing to share.

Upon our respective retirements in the late 1990's and upon his and Kay's move to Orlando, my wife Nancy and I spent more time with Neil and Kay- visiting, going boating, going to the Cape and other venues, especially eating out ! We were together on 9/11/01 and shared concern that evening for the safety of our nation. And we were together last March just before his unexpected diagnosis.

Neil and Kay introduced us to the Disney village of Celebration and assisted as we bought and furnished a small condo there. Neil became a watchman for our condo between our stays and we looked forward to our visits- and golf- over the years.

I was fortunate to have several rounds of golf with Neil and his great golfing neighbor and "brother", Tony Gonzalez. The friendship established between these two was great to see and be around. I can identify in a personal way with the kind words of Tony from last Sunday's memorial in Orland reprinted in Neil's website.

Neil appreciated golf courses where play was fast and a minimum of time was spent looking for lost balls in the water or the rough. He wasn't impressed with more complicated, manicured courses with lots of rough, waste areas or water- thats for hunting and fishing, not golfing!

It was during this time that Neil shared a Neilism with Nancy and I or our safety in Florida. "In any body of water, assume there is an alligator !"

As mentioned, we enjoyed getting together to eat at various venues. Of special liking was the Seasons 52 restaurant which ad a unique menu change every week of the year - thus the name. Nancy and I are pleased that a new Seasons 52 is being built in Indy. I'm sure we will frequent it often and will always remember Neil and Kay.

In late August, I was privileged to sped a week with Neil and Kay trying to help when it seemed like there as an event nearly every hour (24/7) and Kay was straining to keep up. My help was incidental to what I experienced ! I saw Kay as a most dedicated and tender care giver to Neil, her life's love. I also saw Neil as a tender and kind receiver of this love and care even when in dire circumstances and need. He handled his situation like the statesman hew was- with dignity !

I also saw the deep love, respect and support of Ellen and Dean. I saw the care and support of many medical people- Valarie, Rose, Carrie and many others affected by Neil's kind and thankful attitude. I saw the overwhelming concern and support of many neighbors and friends.

I not only saw all these happening but "felt" the deep love and concern in a special way. I was blessed for having been there!!

Steve and Nancy Z

Our Wake for Neil

Tonight was our informal “wake” for Neil with a few of his old work associates. Despite our tremendous sadness at losing him, we reveled in old stories and remembrances of Neil. We met for a couple of beers before dinner and then retired to Win Schulers in Marshall for dinner. This is a place that Neil had the opportunity to dine at many times during his career and was a comfortable atmosphere for our celebration of Neil’s life. Here is a picture of the group. Around the table are Chuck M., Al W., Steve D., Jose’ M., Tom K., Curt S., Merv W., John C. and Mike G. As you will see, we are all toasting Neil with his favorite cocktail, a vodka martini:







And to document the evening, we all signed a cocktail napkin in Neil’s honor. After all, from our experience, some his best ideas were captured after a few drinks on similar paper products over the years! This napkin, along with the picture of Neil, will be entered into the archives of the Eaton family.







It was a therapeutic evening for all of us, but we are not finished with our celebration yet. Our next get together will be held at Stivers, near Chelsea, Michigan, one of our old favorite watering holes on the way to customer meetings in Detroit when we all lived in the Battle Creek area. This is where many of us consumed many martinis with Neil over the years, so we’ll be toasting one more “Fishbowl Martini” in his honor. We will continue to document our future celebrations as they occur. And some of our future activities will include a round of golf, which I’m sure Neil will approve of.



Neil, we’re sure that there are buyers in heaven just to provide entertainment for you. And don’t forget, as you told us many times, “you can tell they are lying when their lips are moving”! Thanks for the many life’s lessons and the great memories!



Chuck M.

Thank you Rev. Carolyn and Dan!

A special thank you to Carolyn (Mom's dear friend) who did such a wonderful job at the Orlando service. And who checked in on Mom and Dad all the time over the last six months as well. And then she and her husband Dan were brave enough to endure the frigid weather here in Indiana for yet another wonderful service yesterday, despite not feeling well most of the week.

We thank you and Dan so much!

Have a safe trip home and enjoy the warm weather

Dan and Carolyn at the airport on their way back to Florida

Indiana Pictures 12/5/10 (more to come)

Thank you to everyone. More posts coming soon!

There's lots more to say. Please send any of your pictures, thoughts, or writings to johndgilmer@gmail.com and we will get them posted right away here. We hope you will check back here now and then as neilgilmer.com isn't going away. We have 100s of letters and pictures that we will be posting here as time permits- and we can type them all up/get them uploaded- especially things people wrote about Neil over the last several years.

We will also be putting together highlights from the two Celebrations of Life over the next week or so. We hope to have a video uploaded of the Orlando Service as well.

If anyone has pictures of either of the two services please email them when you get a chance.

We, as always, encourage you to send anything/anytime here.

Thank you to all- your support through all of this made it bearable.

With love, thanks and gratitude,

The Gilmer Family

Dad

Two days before dad's passing he made sure to ask me if I would be sure to take care of mom, even if that meant going with her to Indiana, I said, "Don't worry Dad I will do whatever is needed to make sure she is ok." He said, "OK, good!" Love you sweetie!

Then on November 19th after asking everyone to leave the room I had one last moment with my dad....

Ok, I unlike Dean did not or was not able to find the words to tell dad all my thoughts, because truly I was hanging on with him in HOPE that somehow things would turn around by the hand of God... but in the last moments we both knew it was Good - bye for now so here were my simple but heart felt words to him.

"I now hearing is the last to go, so just know dad - I am grateful that you are my dad, and although you didn't think you could be a dad when starting out, I think you did a great job and I am so proud to have you as my daddy! I love you and we'll meet up again one day. Thank you for being MY DAD!"

Prior to these last few moments together I just did my best to show him how much I loved him in ways I never knew I could even do... even foot and head tickles (which he loved, because they so relaxed him) and beyond.... hoping he knew by my actions more than my words just how much he meant to me!

As I reflect on my dad even now, two weeks later (which is hard to believe time has passed so quickly) but here are the areas I have come to see as our common ground (so to speak...) similarities in my dad and me! (*I only really started recognizing some of these in my 40's and especially after his first service many friends came up to me and shared how much like my dad I really am.) Who knew all these existed in me too.... so to dad, I carry on your legacy with:

Humor, Love of music (althought I love Contemporary Christian and you loved Classical) it inspires us both, Alone Quiet Time (to think and learn), the love of animals and nature, The Sky ( I see the hand of a creator, you knew much more of the science side of it all), How to be an Encourager when needed, Sports of all kinds, A need to know how things operate on one level or another (Knowledge) we applied this different, you would offer wisdom and insight learned, and I to help others through difficulties, Friends for Life (and how to maintain them and treasure them), the gift of Story Telling and seeing other quirks and enjoying them in spite of themselves, Special Events (Ground Hog Day & Halloween) and Holidays! And we also both hate to be "Boxed In" or not allowed choices or FREEDOM!

I loved my dad so much and so appreciated the 6 months we shared and grew closer than ever! Miss you dad and think about you so much with all this Christmas music and movies.... wow were you a large part of Christmas for me!

Love,

Ellen

Memorial Service Sunday December 5, 2010 INDIANA

Indiana "Memorial Service"
Date: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Address: Greensfork Community Center
117 E Pearl Street
Greens Fork, IN 47345
Time: 1:00pm
Luncheon to follow service followed by an evening get-together for anyone interested in spending more time with the Gilmer Family at 6:00pm at the Raintree Inn in New Castle, IN.

My last (but not final) conversation with Dad

This is what I recall from my last conversation with Dad on Sunday November 14, 2010.

__________

Dad was alert. There were a couple nurses just outside his bedroom, who had been hovering over him for what seemed like hours working on the colostomy bag. Ellen took them away after we started talking/crying and closed the door.

After crying for quite a while in his hands which were still fairly strong,
I told Dad how much I would miss him and talking to him. Especially on the phone. I told him that much of his advise rings in my ear without ever talking to him though, and thus he would always be with me, as often I have had conversations seeking his advise in my mind when he was nowhere present, and that these sessions would continue. I told him that I often knew what he would say before he spoke. I told him that he was my hero, and about how much I learned from him and about how much he had done for all of us.

I let him know that as a very private man he went through a very degrading process to his body and privacy and that he handled it with incredible dignity. Crying he said "I hope so."

He told me that he was concerned about all of us. I told him not to worry that he had taught us all well and he knew that. He said "Are you sure." I said yes and he said, "I think so, but I worry about all of you." I told him he knew so. I asked him how much he was able to help us over the last six months, and he said "none." And I asked him how we all did and he said "just fine". I told him, then, you know so (that we would all be all right) and he said. "Yes, I know." I told him that we would all take care of each other. He said "I know, thank you."

I also told him, if he could, to check here now and then as I was sure that we would all have some things to say to him through the years. He said "ok I will". (with kind of a 1/4 chuckle)"

I let him know that I hoped/thought we would meet again, and that I guess this is arrivederci. He repeated "arrivederci" cried and closed his eyes. I tickled his feet (one of his favorite things, only slightly in front of attaching a foreign word or phrasing to a situation) until I thought he was asleep. I flew back to Indiana just an hour or so later, he died 5 days after our last conversation; Before I could return for Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful that Mom, Ellen and Mary Anne were all there those final days and that Dad left us peacefully.

'Til we meet again Dad,

Dean

Tony G's tribute 11/28/10 Orlando, FL

(Editor's Note: Tony was kind enough to pass on the notes from his lovely spoken tribute to Neil on Sunday. He thought he might have been hard to understand due to English not being his native tongue and the emotion of the day. The emotion, in the end, was part of the message- and made it better. And the message was crystal clear. Thank you Tony!)


NEIL GILMER’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE MEMORIAL
PEACE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
NOVEMBER 28, 2010

INTRODUCTION
THANK YOU KAY, ELLEN AND DEAN FOR ALLOWING ME TO EXPRESS SOME WORDS ON THIS CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR SOMEONE WE ALL LOVED AND CHERISHED. WE WERE FORTUNATE AND BLESSED TO HAVE HAD NEIL AMONG US IN OUR LIVES. HE WAS AN OUTSTANDING HUSBAND, FATHER, GRANDFATHER, FRIEND AND CITIZEN. HIS DEPARTURE IS DIFFICULT TO ALL, AND INDEED IT IS TO ME, AS WE BECAME VERY GOOD FRIENDS. I PROUDLY CALLED HIM BROTHER.

WHEN KAY & NEIL MOVED TO ORISTA BAY, ELEVEN YEARS AGO, NEIL AND I PLAYED GOLF A FEW TIMES BEFORE I MET KAY. WHEN I MET HER, SHE SAID TO ME: “YOU ARE GOING TO BE GOOD FOR NEIL”. I TOOK HER COMMENT AS A COMPLIMENT AND AS VOTE OF APPROVAL. THEREAFTER, WE HAD GREAT TIMES. DURING ELEVEN YEARS WE PLAYED MORE THAN 1,000 ROUNDS OF GOLF, MANY TIMES 27-36 HOLES PER DAY.

INTELLECT
NEIL WAS A PERSON OF GREAT INTELLECT. HE HAD DEEP KNOWLEDGE OF ABOUT EVERY CONCEIVABLE TOPIC, FROM THE SIMPLE ONES TO THE MOST COMPLICATED: TECHNICAL, SCIENTIFIC, THE SPACE, UNIVERSE, ARTS, ETC. HE TALKED ABOUT MANY TOPICS WITH AUTHORITY USING SIMPLE WORDS AND TERMS. HE WAS PROFESSORIAL AND WANTED TO BE CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD. I ENJOYED TALKING TO HIM FOR ENDLESS HOURS AS WE NEVER RAN OUT OF TOPICS, IT WAS NEVER BORING.

GOLF
NEEDLESS TO SAY, THAT NEIL WAS A GOLF ENTHUSIAST. AS A GOLFER HE WAS A TRUE LOVER OF THE GAME AND QUITE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND RESPECTFUL OF THE RULES AND ETHICS OF THE GAME. VERY IMPORTANTLY, HE WAS AND EXCELLENT GOLFER WITH GREAT ABILITY TO PLAY AROUND THE GREENS WHERE HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST.

THINGS WE SHARED
WE SHARED SO MANY STORIES FOR YEARS, INCLUDING THOSE OF OUR OWN FAMILIES. WE COUNSELED EACH OTHER ABOUT PROBLEMS AND DECISIONS. THERE ARE SIMILARITIES IN OUR UPBRINGING. ALTHOUGH FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, WE HAD TO HUSTLE IN AGRICULTURAL COMMUNITIES LIVING WITHIN CERTAIN LIMITATIONS IN DIFFICULT TIMES.
WE ALSO HAD SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS IN BUSINESS AND THE CORPORATE WORLD, AS WE DEALT WITH LARGE ENTITIES AND TRAVELED TO MANY COUNTRIES. WE ALSO ANALYZED AND DISCUSSED PROBLEMS IN OUR SOCIETY AND IN THE WORLD, ALSO THE CHALLENGES ON THE U.S. ECONOMY IN THE GLOBAL MARKET. HE DISCUSSED THOSE ISSUES WITH KNOWLEDGE AND FACTS.

THE CLASSICAL MUSIC
THE CLASSICAL MUSIC ALSO UNITED US. BOTH OF US HAD MUSICAL EDUCATION AND WERE LOVERS OF IT. HE TOLD ME THAT HIS MOTHER INSPIRED HIS INTEREST IN CLASSICAL MUSIC - AND HE WAS VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE OF IT. AS WE BOTH HAD EXTENSIVE COLLECTIONS OF MUSIC, WE ENJOYED LISTENING TO MUSIC AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.

FRENCH - WHEN YOUNG, HE SPENT A YEAR IN PARIS STUDYING FRENCH AT LA SORBONNE AND HE SPOKE FRENCH VERY WELL.

HUMOR
TO TALK ABOUT NEIL, WE HAVE TO MENTION HIS HUMOR. THIS WAS ONE OF HIS STRONGEST CHARACTERISTICS. HE WAS QUITE HUMOROUS AND WAS ALWAYS TELLING AND PLAYING JOKES ABOUT EVERYTHING. JOKES ABOUT HIS LIFE EXPERIENCE OR SPONTANEOUS ONES BASED ON THE SITUATION AT HAND. HE WOULD PLAY A SMALL PRANK AT ANY MOMENT. HE ENJOYED HUMOROUS MOVIES AND LOVED RECALLING LINES AND JOKES FROM THEM, ESPECIALLY “CADDY SHACK”, “SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT” AND “THE GREEK FAT WEDDING”. DUE TO HIS UNIQUE MEMORY HE COULD RECITE THE LINES AND RECALL THEIR SCENES ACCURATELY. HE HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS AND MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH.

NEILISM
IN HIS WORKPLACE (MAINLY AT EATON), HE BECAME FAMOUS FOR WHAT THEY CALL NEILISMS. THESE ARE PHRASES AND LINES TO ILLUSTRATE AN ISSUE OR SITUATION, MOSTLY WITH HUMOR. NEIL USED THOSE TO MOTIVATE HIS CO-WORKERS AND THEY BECAME COMPANY SLOGANS TO THE EXTENT THAT HIS PEERS PUBLISHED A PAMPHLET WITH MORE THAN A 100 OF THOSE PHRASES. TO PROVOKE ME TO PLAY GOLF FOR LONGER HOURS, HE USED ONE OF THOSE LINES: “NEVER, NEVER LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE”, OR A RHETORICAL QUESTION- “ARE WE GOING TO LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE?”

SOMETIMES, WE LEFT MONEY ON THE TABLE. TODAY, I WISH I HAD STAYED WITH NEIL “ON THE TABLE” A LITTLE LONGER.

CLOSING
NEIL WAS A LEGEND AT WORK AND TO HIS NEIGHBORS AND FRIENDS. HE WAS AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND MANY. TODAY I TELL TO MY FRIEND AND BROTHER, THANKS FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP, THE BEAUTIFUL DAYS OF GOLF AND GREAT MEMORIES. I WILL CHERISH OUR MEMORIES AND REMEMBER YOU FOR EVER. WHEN I ALSO MOVE TO THAT OTHER SPIRITUAL PLANE OF LIFE, I WILL LOOK FOR YOU TO RENEW OUR FRIENDSHIP AND CONTINUE PLAYING GOLF MUCH MORE.

PROMISE THAT THEN; WE WILL”NOT LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE.”

ANTONIO GONZALEZ
NEIGHBOR, FRIEND AND GOLF BUDDY 11-28-2010

























OTHER EXTRA TOPICS

GOLF LEAGUE
DURING YEARS THE RESIDENTS OF H.C. TRIED UNSUCCESSFULLY TO ORGANIZE A GOLF LEAGUE FOR OUR RESIDENTS. THE PREVIOUS MANAGEMENT OF THE GOLF COURSE WAS INSENSITIVE TO OUR REQUEST. THREE YEARS AGO, HAVING A NEW MANAGEMENT AT THE CLUB, NEIL AND JOHN WISEMAN SUCCEEDED IN ORGANIZING THE GOLF LEAGUE THAT PLAYS WEEKLY AT THE HC GOLF COURSE. NEIL WAS PROUD OF THIS ACCOMPLISHMENT. THIS LEAGUE HELPED HIM MADE NEW GOLF FRIENDS.

FRUGALITY
NEIL GAVE A NEW PERSPECTIVE TO THE FRUGALITY CONCEPT. HE WAS PROUD OF HIS FRUGALITY AND WAS VERY ATTENTIVE AND OVER-CAUTIOUS WHEN DEALING WITH HIS MONEY FOR WHICH HE BECAME POPULAR. THERE WAS AN EXCEPTION TO THIS. IT WAS WHEN HE AND OTTO AND NANCY CANNIS BOUGHT A GORGEOUS BOAT VALUED IN MORE THAN $200K WHEN PURCHASED. AS HE WAS SO FRUGAL, I HAD TO INQUIRE HIM, - HOW DID YOU REACH THE DECISION TO BUY SUCH AN EXPENSIVE ASSET? IN A HUMOROUS MANNER HIS ANSWER WAS A PHRASE THAT BECAME POPULAR WHEN DURING THE TECHNOLOGY STOCK MARKET CRISIS AROUND YEAR 2000. HE SAID, “THAT WAS A MOMENT OF IRRATIONAL EXUBERANCE”.

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT
NEIL GOT INVOLVED IN SEVERAL ACTIVITIES OF THE HUNTER’S CREEK COMMUNITY. HE SERVED ON THE ORISTA BAY NEIGHBORHOOD COMMITTEE FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND REPRESENTED US ON THE H.C. MASTER ASSOCIATION BOARD.

HALLOWEEN
ONE OF HIS FAVORITE FESTIVITIES WAS HALLOWEEN. USING THE EXPERIENCE HE BROUGHT FROM MICHIGAN, HE HELPED TO ORGANIZE THE FIRST HUNTER’S CREEP NIGHTS HAUNTED HOUSE AND HAYRIDE. THIS WAS AN ASTONISHING SUCCESS AND NEIL USED TO DRESS IN THE MOST DREADFUL COSTUMES AND OUTFITS, SUCH AS "THE GRIM REAPER" TO SCARE PEOPLE. HE HAD MUCH FUN DOING THIS.

Celebration of Life Details

Florida "Celebration of Life" Service
Date: Sunday, November 28, 2010
Peace United Methodist Church
13502 Town Loop Blvd.
Orlando, FL 32837
Phone: 407-438-8947
www.peaceumcorlando.org
Time: 12:30pm
Luncheon to follow service.

Indiana "Memorial Service"
Date: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Address: Greensfork Community Center
117 E Pearl Street
Greens Fork, IN 47345
Time: 1:00pm

We remember Neil

Like others, we will miss the unique and jovial humor of Neil. We will also miss his kindness and thoughtfulness especially as host along with Kay as hostess at numerous occasions, especially in Florida after our respective retirements from Eaton. A very special memory is we being together the evening of 9/11/01 and sharing a joint concern for our nation and security.

In the automotive supplier business, Neil earned the respect of both his internal customers, our technical and manufacturing staffs, as well as our external customers who knew and trusted him as knowledgeable about our products as applied to their needs - a very unique and valued quality ! Neil's several acquaintances at nearby Cummins Engine in Columbus, IN would attest to his prowess. It was indeed a pleasure (and fun) to work with him and to enjoy the many successes along the way.

Steve & Nancy Z
Muncie, IN

Florida/Indiana Celebration of Life Information coming soon

We will be posting all the details/directions/accomidations for the two services for Neil. One in Orlando and one in Indiana within the next 24 hours or so.

Your Dad Is a Legend

You Dad was an inspiration to so many John. I had the pleasure of working with him during my years at Eaton and still remember many of his classic quotes:

· “Part number and design changes are our best friends.”

· “Most problems are the result of improbable blunders and incredible oversights. Plan thoughtfully so they don’t happen as often.”

· “The bigger the customer, the more likely that someone there does not like you.”

· “When your competitor is down – this is generally a good time to kick him.”

· Listening is impossible with a tongue on the loose.

He had so many other great comments, but I’m sure others have weighed in as well. Rest well Neil, you will always be in our hearts. If the good Lord has anything to sell, rest assured that the team just got an all American.

Best Regards / Namaskar / Üdvözlettel / Mit freundlichen Grussen / 祝好/ よろしく / Saludos / Meilleures Salutations / 안부를 전하며 / Saluti

John J. McG
Chief Procurement Officer
BorgWarner WHQ

(Editor's Note: See posts from May 21, 2010 and a few day's before for a comprehensive list of business quotes and ideas from Neil.)

One of Neil and Kay's biggest Angels! Thank you Mary Anne!

We are so grateful Neil's sister, Mary Anne, could be there for Dad in his most trying days. We know how hard it was on her to see her big brother in such shape - but she took care of all the things that we just couldn't.

Love,
Dean

Neil's Final Resting Place, Greens Fork Indiana - Sugar Grove Cemetery

Neil's parents, grandparents, prior generations, and many other family members will be just a few steps away. The family farm where he grew up is but a few miles from the Church he attended as a boy, and the cemetery his father, and uncles, mowed for years.

Neil's Uncle, in his 90's, and shortly prior to his death, sums up Sugar Grove best:
"In Indiana there are a few acres of sacred ground to me, Sugar Grove Cemetery. In early farming days small communities developed in each township. They had their one-room schoolhouse and a church. Their social life occurred in these two venues. I was born and lived until college in Sugar Grove. The schoolhouse was gone but the church and cemetery remained. They both remind me so much of Thomas Gray’s Elegy Written in a country churchyard. Almost my entire family is buried here, going back to the early 1800’s. We worshiped here, attended funerals, weddings, Sunday School picnics, etc. I also worked cutting the grass. Clipping around each stone by hand paid a dividend—I learned the names and history of my family and community.

Both of my parents, my four grandparents, and three great grandparents are buried here plus most family members before and afterwards.

Perhaps a cemetery is the best place for solitude and reflection."

-Merritt G. “Gil” Gilmer 2009

Well friends and loved ones,
I don't know about you but I was thinking and wondering about dad today driving home from the airport and this was the sky on my way! I totally took it as if dad was smiling down from heaven, he made it and all the suffering and pain is now over! Good-bye for now dad!

Ellen

Courier-Times Obituary (New Castle, Indiana newspaper)

John Neil Gilmer
John Neil Gilmer, 69, of Orlando, FL, died Friday, Nov. 19, 2010 in his home.

He was born Feb. 7, 1941 in New Castle, son of John and Mary Alice (Beeson) Gilmer of Greens Fork. He is survived by his wife of 46 years, Kay Crum Gilmer; a daughter, Ellen Marie Gilmer of Boynton Beach, FL, and a son, John Dean (Shelaine) Gilmer of Indianapolis and their four children.

He also is survived by a sister, Mary Anne (Thomas) Butters of Greens Fork; a brother-in-law, Denny (Marge) Crum of Sulphur Springs, an aunt, Mildred Thornburg of Richmond, numerous nieces, nephews and cousins.

He was preceded in death by his parents and a granddaughter, Elizabeth Nicole Gilmer.

A 1959 graduate of Hagerstown High School, Mr. Gilmer attended Butler University, The Sorbonne in Paris, France, and was graduated from Earlham College. He spent his entire career in the automotive component industry: Perfect Circle/Dana from 1964-67, and Eaton Corporation from 1967-1999, where he won a patent for a powdered metal valve seat insert and served as sales manager of the Engine Components Division.

Mr. Gilmer was known best for his unique wit, broad knowledge and passion for golf.

A Celebration of Life will be held at 12:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 28 at Peace United Methodist Church in Orlando. A memorial service will be held at 1 p.m. at the Greens Fork Community Center Sunday, Dec. 5. Burial will follow at Sugar Grove Cemetery near Greens Fork.

Condolences may be sent to the family at NeilGilmerMemorialSite@gmail.com.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Peace UMC, 13502 Town Loop Blvd., Orlando, FL 32837 or Riley Children's Hospital Foundation, 30 South Meridian St. #200, Indianapolis, IN 46204.

Nov. 19, 2000
the courier times link: http://thecouriertimes.com/Main.asp?SectionID=9&SubSectionID=24&ArticleID=256034

(Editor's Note: Their is a link to the Eaton patent at upper right, titled " Link to Eaton patent" on this blog. As well as a link to the Sugar Grove Cemetery where many many Gilmers have been buried.)

Thinking of You

Kay, Mary Anne, Dean and Ellen,

I am so very sorry for your loss and while I know that this is a very difficult time, I'm confident that your fond and loving memories will sustain you.

I'm sorry I didn't know Neil personally but I am so very appreciative that he pushed me to get Dad to write about his experiences in the war and, subsequently, to write what has become such a treasure to our family. We will be forever indebted to him. I hope he knew how grateful we all were.

I wish I were closer to be able to give each of you a big hug.

May you find peace in the coming days.

With love,

Debbie

Our Condolences

We are so sorry to hear the sad news of Neil's passing. We wish to express our sincere condolences to you and family. Your consolation is that now he is in peace. Still you will have such great memories to carry and treasure forever.



As you know, I have lost more than a golfing partner. He was my good friend whose company and conversation I enjoyed and treasure so much. His friendship enriched my life in many ways as we share our life experiences: business, family, travel, society, etc.



If my memory were as good as it used to be, I could write a book covering our many conversations and stories. His humor gave special touches to his stories and jokes. Eleven years and more than 1,000 rounds of golf, followed by our “19th Hole” social time, is a priceless treasure to me.

I will miss and remember him forever.



Kay, Ellen and Dean we wish you to be well and strong during this difficult time of sorrow.



With love,



Tony and Zulma G

Love and sorrow from Portage, MI

My first time on a private boat was with Mr. Gilmer and Dean. Of course Dean didn't like boating much, but went along just because his old roommate was visiting his folks in Farmington Hills, MI.
We got on the boat and started cruising the lake, and for some reason Mr. Gilmer "Neil" decides to stop and take a look at the beautiful lake and eat a few Chocolate M&Ms. When he decides to go back the engine wouldn't start, so he calls the marina for help, a young kid comes with his rescue boat and gets on our boat and pushes his rescue boat away and tried to start our boat. I paused for a minute while I was thinking about how it was that this kid was planning on getting back while his boat was drifting away, after he pushed it away from our boat. I was the only one, at first, to see that there was something wrong with this picture. Anyway, I had a wonderful time every time I visited and miss you and Kay so much after you left Michigan. I just found out that Neil has passed away this morning hopefully to a better place.
May peace be with him. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
Take care Kay, Ellen and Dean.
Love
Fadi, your best friend

More Prayers are With You

Kay, Dean and Ellen,



We are so sorry to hear the sad news of Neil’s passing. With you, we take solace in knowing he is at peace. Your wonderful family has many memories to treasure. I’m sure you will tell Neil stories for years to come.



With sincere sympathy,



Chuck and Connie

John Neil Gilmer passed away today Friday November 19, 2010

Words can't express our sorrow. His peace, now, is our comfort.

Thinking of you all during this incredulous time. So many childhood memories include you and your family. Long drives to Florida, HUGE Kay brownies, lots of laughs. Wishing you all lots of love and peace. Janet N S

"Could it be a sign"

Was outside trimming and cutting some plants and along came a beautiful butterfly that landed on the flower right in front of me! "Could it be a sign" was the first thing my mom said when I showed her this photo of the moment in time!

Ellen

And, furthermore...

Dear Neil, Kay, Ellen and Dean,
I always remember two little kids standing shyly in front of our garage shortly after our move to So. Moorland Drive, Battle Creek in 1976. It was the beginning of a wonderfully fun time - our friendship with the Gilmers.

Halloween parties; a self- built path up the hill to the "Gilms"; Ellen's chocolate chip cookies; school "snow days" and playing Clue; Officer Endress; snipe hunting; and constant sleepovers (with little sleep) were happy, memorable days.

And those trips out to eat? Remember Laverne and Shirley's? Listening to a full evening of talking via Sharon (Neil was unable to get a word in edgewise. Can you believe it?) And where did Neil come up with the saying "and, furthermore..." Wouldn't we give the world for another night out?

Oh, and those two small children? Ellen and Dean, of course.
And, furthermore...
Sharon

Update Thursday November 18, 2010

Neil continues to rest comfortably (with pain killers.) A new colostomy procedure devised by the "girls" has worked and is giving much needed solace to Neil. Conserving his energy, Neil perks up when the topic is of interest. This is not a new phenomenon, though it has become more pronounced in recent days. Neil continues to be Neil, thank goodness!

Dean

Any port in a storm

Looking at the picture of Neil at the 'women's john' at hunting camp brought this story back to mind. When Neil was still a fresh water boater, one fine spring day Neil, Herbie, alias The Colonel, and teen son Mike launched Neil's 20 foot boat at Metro Park in Lake St. Clair, MI. After a few hours of sunny boating and Neil consuming some brewskis, Neil felt the call of Mother Nature. No port available, he stopped in the River and proceeded to shake the dew out of the water lily over the side, much to the dismay of Mike, who has never forgotten the incident and recalls it fondly. Herbie

Santa Claus Tonight - A First Hand Account

It was Christmas eve sometime in the ‘80s and we were all at the Gilmer farm. After a hearty Grandma Gilmer dinner which surely included a Turkey and homemade noodles, the adults were talking politics or playing eucre. My sister, Molly, (both of us single-digit age kids at that time) were pretty well behaved. We were mostly self contained and entertaining ourselves at that moment. We weren’t staying at the farm that night and it was starting to get late. Well, if you know my Uncle Neil, you know he’s gifted at the art of mischief and he sensed this prime opportunity. Molly and I were at that age where Christmas morning is the day of all days … the other 364 were all just a buildup to the big one. Yes, Santa was a big deal in those days for us and discovering what he had left under the tree on Christmas morning was the equivalent of willing the lottery. All Uncle Neil did was whisper “Santa … tonight” to Molly and me and the two of us were rousted from our calm mental states and were transformed into the most impatient and frenzied whirling dervishes in Wayne County. With those two words, Uncle Neil set our minds into a frenzy. We had somehow been lulled into a non-Santa centric mental state; probably by our parents, and Uncle Neil would have nothing of it. Molly and I applied our most aggressive “let’s go!” tactics on our parents because our thinking was that the sooner we got home; the sooner Santa would visit our house and we could get on with the “big day.” From that day forward, Uncle Neil’s teasing phrase “Santa … tonight” would be repeated with laughs every Christmas Eve and I have no doubt it will continue to make us smile.

Bill B

Have a story or picture for the blog?

Just send in email form to johndgilmer@gmail.com, and it will post here right away or if you have written anything previously just let us know you would like it posted, and we will try to scan it or retype it as time permits. Pictures are always welcome too!



Thanks

The 60's

At one time Neil and I both worked at Perfect Circle / Dana Corporation in Hagerstown and both of us, as newly weds, lived in upstairs three room apartments, within walking distance of our work. ( I believe our rent was $45.00 / month). Our wives were both teachers in New Castle about 12 miles away and rode together to school each day.
Neil & I would walk to one apartment or the other to eat our lunches each day. Well, Neil found a real "good deal" on can goods that somehow had lost their labels and when we opened up a can, we had no idea what it might contain. One day we had peas, and carrots& peas for lunch, just wonderful lunches...
About the girls driving to New Castle; one day Kay drove the "65" Pontiac 2 + 2, straight stick, which she had a lot of problems letting the clutch out too soon, but Kay did manage, anyway she stopped to fill up with gasoline in New Castle and by the time she got home the car was running awful. It seems the tanker had put diesel fuel in the premium station's tank. Neil was not too happy about running diesel fuel through a high performance engine..HA! HA!
We also made a trip together to Montréal Canada to Expo "67" We could not find a hotel within 100 miles to stay so we bought a 9" X 9" umbrella tent to stay in. None of us had ever "camped" before, but it was quite an experience as we took my new "67" Bonneville and packing and repacking every day was a challenge. There just was never room for a certain purple box that Kay had taken along..HA! HA!
Cousin Chris B

Neil's too!

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill


(Editor's Note: It was previously noted what a fan/student/follower of Churchill Dad was.)

Update Tuesday November 16, 2010

Neil slept most of the day today. Watched over with loving care by his wife, sister and daughter. The history channel in the background.

Dean

Hi Neil from Michigan!

I sure love reading your blog! You have some friends who really can write! Of course, we love all of the pictures too.

I'll never forget driving to Green on Thanksgiving weekend before I started student teaching and there was only one teacher working at school - Kay of course! Of all the teachers, the one that I got to student teach for was at school working. I was so excited.

Green felt like it was so far away at the time. I never thought I could drive there every day - little did I know that I would be driving there every day for years to come!

God sure did bring us together - our families. Kay and I are so much alike and you and Chris are so much alike!

I will forever be thankful that Dean and Ellen shared her "mom and dad" and that you became Mimi and Papa to our kids too.

We love you so much!

Love,
Chris, Blaine, Evan, Landon, Nolan and Grace

Neil, mon cher ami. I’m so thankful for all the light hearted times, the deep belly laughs and the memories created while knowing you. Of course this is the hunting season and we could be retelling and reliving every one of those old jokes and old memories as done so many times in the past. To blog some of those now just wouldn’t be the same as sitting around the table in a musty old cabin, critters sneaking across the floor and wind and snow blowing through the gaps in the windows and doorways. I think back on all the hours of scouting and building the perfect blinds and wonder why we weren’t more successful. You don’t suppose it had anything to do with time in the field or being deep enough in the woods do you? It is also fun to recall all the work problems solved, strategic plans generated and new product ideas we worked on while in deer camp – undoubtedly a contribution to Eaton’s success, wouldn’t you say? Well, nonetheless, two particular ‘Neil’ memories stick out in my mind at this time:

o The proverbial “full court press into the end zone” – an often joked about work tenet that I’m shocked to see you actually believed in as demonstrated by you and your family so well during these past difficult months.

o Embellishment - what you have always done best. Webster says that embellish is “to heighten the attractiveness of by adding ornamental details”. You have a lot to be proud of and as evidenced by reading these blogs; your life doesn’t need embellishment.



Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful family.



Bryce

It's boombaton time!

Just heard the update on Neil, Our thoughts and prayers are all for Him, you and Family!! Tell Him I am heading up north, and will stop in Ralph and have a burger & drink for him!!
All the beautiful memories of our times together will always be there!!
We all had a beautiful life, and fun times on Ridgeway!!.
Tell Neil I will have a Boomaton for him!!
Life is a gift, and I am glad both of you where in it!!
I know mom and sals will be glad to see him again!
We love you both! Take care and Live Life!!
Billy C

November 15 in Michigan

Yesterday was the most popular unofficial “holiday” in Michigan….opening day of the gun season for deer hunting. I’m not a hunter, so I didn’t even think about it until about 8:00 AM when what sounded like a cannon went off in the woods behind our house. My first thought was that something had exploded, but as my mind processed the sound, a smile came to my lips as I immediately thought of Neil. I have never gone deer hunting, but I feel that I’ve lived the sport vicariously through the tales that I’ve heard from Neil. Including many from the hunting trips made “up north” with his old work pals George M., Bryce B. and Dr. J. that were told and retold. The meticulous planning and execution of those plans by others, wandering far into the woods, that yielded no results vs. Neil’s cavalier approach of staying near the cabin and enjoying a few smokes while waiting to see a deer. All taboos with hunters, as I understand it, but reportedly with better results in Neil’s case. In later years, his mantra was (and I’m paraphrasing), “I just go to have fun with the boys. Who wants to go to all the bother of gutting a deer and dragging it home?” I could tell Neil always had fun because the telling of each tale included several of his famous belly laughs.



Which brings me to another Neilism, one that might have been voiced before, but now in a different context: Bigger is Better! In this case, a bigger gun was always better, maybe not directly involved with the success of the hunt, but certainly for storytelling. Although I’ve never seen it, Neil’s 8 gauge shotgun is a legend in my mind. And his story of getting Dr. J to shoot it and then nurse a sore shoulder for weeks is priceless! The stories, admittedly, have more meaning when you know the characters involved, but Neil loved to tell this particular story around the office where we all lived and worked with the same characters.



Neil, I’m sure that someone is out in the woods this week creating similar stories and memories in your honor. And come to think of it, that “cannon” I heard yesterday morning just might have been an 8 gauge! J



And here are a few more memory starters for Neil that generated many shared laughs in the office:



“Can we call it a……..?”

“You scratched my anchor!” (and other classics from Caddyshack)

Gene Tracy

The Moon Over Mobile (remember Tom K.?)



Enjoy the memories, Neil!



Chuck

Have you polished your gem today?

You know the old saying about pictures and words. But with Neil I think, A great story is worth a 1000 pictures, may be more fitting. A daily tid-bit you told Neil, can, through his mind eye, turn you into an academy award winning actor on a much larger stage. Some of you may have even been given a new persona. Like the Colonel, but there are others. Anyway, that interesting story you told him, often was filled in with much more vivid detail when he returned it back to you as not just a story, but a true gem. Some of these stories I am sure you retell in their revised version given back to you by Neil. Some may last a lifetime. You may be polishing one in your mind's eye now? Enjoy.

Dean

I am very sad to hear about the continuing decline of your Dad. He is a dear friend and I loved him very much ( don't tell him that - he would think that I had gotten soft in my recently retired state). Worked with him for almost 30 of my 33 years with Eaton. Some of those years were very challenging, but a lot of them were a lot of fun. Neil and I always thought that we could beat the world when it came to making and selling engine valves - him with the selling and me with the making. Of course we needed the technical support of Larry J - kept us from making too many foolish mistakes.

Neil was always there for me when suffered some personal setbacks - would do anything for a friend. Am sad that I can not do anything for him now except pray. Pray I do, every day for Neil - it is all in God's hands now.

You will have to ask him about the time we went shooting at the range. I had never shot anything larger than a 30-06, so Neil decided to break (literally) me in with a 375H&H and a 416!! I did hit the target, as we found out after all the dust settled, and I still have the empty brass. Believe that I still have the bruised shoulder also!!

His motto the "customer print changes are a good thing" has always stuck with me. We were able to make money from some of the most stingy customers when no one else could. Will always remember the stories that Neil and Larry could tell and the fine dinners that we had at the "Prime and Wine" in Mason City. Not sure who could drink more - Larry or Neil, do know it certainly was not me.

Am going to miss him a lot - wonder if he remembers when my 4 year old took the small American flag after we visited during a trip to Disney? We got back to our hotel, and there it was with Stephanie waving it around!!

Ward

Hi Neil you are in our hearts and prayers. thinking of you always.

Barbara and Mike Cooper

Sunday Football Neil Style

As the Vikings get pounded yet again today, of course, this somehow reminds me of Dad. Seems somehow for about 4 or 5 years in a row when the Vikings came to Detroit/Pontiac a certain high school kid was in a luxury suite at the Silverdome eating shrimp and watching the game on closed circuit and live down below.

Thanks Dad and Eaton indirectly.

Dean

P.S. - this is where I first learned the fine art of the traveler, though was unable to practice it at the time. Not sure anything builds more loyalty in a client or friend than a pocketful on the way out?

Impatient Patience

Dear Ellen,
I can't begin to tell you how sad I am of the news on you dad. Although our lives took us to different locations and much time passed between visits Neil was my best of friends. We shared many an evening in either the green 55 Chevy or the 55 Buick. There was usually a pizza to split somewhere in there too. I will truly cherish those visits for the rest of my life. I know I don't have to tell you that you are blessed to have a father like Neil. Probably a little grumpy at times, but always patient when progress was forthcoming. A great man. I will miss that Gilmer chuckle.
Esther & I are coming to Florida to visit the Orlando sister over Thanksgiving. I pray that I will be able to see your dad one more time, but I know his schedule is being managed by a much higher authority. It is important that we remember all of the good times we have shared with your dad.
Larry


(Editor's Note: It is sometimes hard to reconcile Dad's patience with his impatience. To know him well is to experience both sides, both caring in different ways, though one harder to appreciate. This insight by Larry sums up the seeming contradiction in a single sentence. Dad appreciated the brevity. Dean)

_____________
Hi Neil,
It's cold here today. Just put the lawn mower away and brought the snow blower up to the garage. The Tundra period has arrived.It has been a dry fall, but all the local farmers are smiling with $6 corn and $13 beans. Most of the crops were dried in the field this year since we have had no rain since labor day. I fear that meteor logically we will even out in rainfall over the next few months. Unfortunately it will most likely come as snow for us.
Esther & I are coming to Florida to visit her sister over Thanksgiving. I plan on coming down to see you.
Larry

Update Saturday November 12, 2010 (almost midnight)

Dad has had a pretty good day. It started out with pastries from Mike and Lori next door. Thank you. Linda and John M as well as Nancy and Otto C visited. Mom went with Nancy and Otto and myself to the Relay for Life. Mom and Dad had always done that together and ate at the survivor's tent. It wasn't the same, but I think she was glad she went. Though the only thing she wanted was a Chick-fil-A sandwich, and they were sold out.

Ellen says Dad always rallies when visitors come. This was no exception. Confused rarely today, he was very coherent and recalled many things in his googleish mind that escaped our memory or at least our tongues. His sister, Mary Anne, is coming down tomorrow evening. He is pleased, as are we all. (Neil 4 1/2 Mary Anne 1 1/2)

A louder snore has returned. I know Otto in particular was surprised by his firm grip. A strong man, Dad, still. He loves a surprise and to foil other people's plan. He is welcome to alter ours in any way he or He would like.

Dean

You are in our prayers

Kay, Dean and Ellen,



May God bless you all as you proceed with Neil on his final journey. I’m sure it will be cherished and will leave him in peace.



With best regards and profound sadness,



Chuck

Fugality

An excerpt from a letter Tony G wrote to Neil on his 65th birthday. Steve's golf club story below is part golf and part frugality for sure.

FRUGALITY

I have to recognize that you help me gain a better and profound understanding of life. For instance, I did not really understand the true meaning of the world frugality. Thanks to you, now I know that is a discipline, a behavior that you must practice every day, anytime and apply it to all aspects of life regardless of the financial value. You have convinced me that one could gain pleasure by holding up tight to anything you own without spending lots of money on new things. You further explained that to practice frugality you have to have a serious commitment and adhere to your motto, that "old is good."

The best thing about your frugality is that you do not hide it; in fact you carry it on your sleeve with so much pride and swank. It is like veneration, a religious cult that is admirable.

In fact, you practice such discipline when playing gold so well with clubs dated back to the 70s and prior. Recently, you cleaned your 37 year old golf bag in an effort to use it for 5-10 more years. Also you just refurbished your banged-up metal woods by polishing and repainting them. You went further, and painted them with the leftover silver paint you bought 10 years ago for your Lumina Chevy. Now your metal woods look like new and the woods are not ashamed of the fancy clubs that other golfers exhibit when they join us on the golf course.

Talking about your silver Lumina, I like your swagger when you labeled it "a family heirloom". Such love and pride for your Lumina have encouraged me to preserve the 85 Mercedes that I brought from Puerto Rico 13 years ago. I am feeling so much pride for my car now that it has become family heirloom too. Now I realized the actual value of such a relic and feel grateful to you for such eduction.

When you really taught me such discipline, was when you restored the old golf shoes that were so badly cracked and scratched. Such technique of using bathtub caulking to fill out the cracks and scratches is unique and innovative. If golfers disover that, the golf shoes manufacturers are going broke. You may consider patenting it and therefore make lots of money. I'll be your partner in that project.

(more to come later on this post)

Golf Tips from the Master addendum. Ragged (I mean gently used) Golf Clubs

I would make one addition to Dean's very comprehensive list. Neil prided himself on minimizing his investment in golf clubs. He used all his legendary negotiation skills/tricks to get the best deal from poor distressed proprietors or rummage/garage sales. He then immensely enjoyed telling of his exploits to the dismay of others (who probably paid more for less) like his neighbor friend golfer Tony G ! After I took my FL set of clubs back UPNORTH, I had the honor of playing with a set of clubs he put together from such dealing and I enjoyed every shot and Neil comment along the way !!

Steve Z

It's never too early!

Last November, we were at your folks Nove. 10-12 and your dad had decorated the house early for Christmas- just for us!!! He was so proud of himself and your mom just shook her head. He had Christmas music playing when we arrived, the tree lit and snow falling on the tv. Of course, we were there for sunshine and warm weather!!! It was a wonderful time!! Please tell him about it. I had planned on putting it on the blog this month. Don't know if I should now. Keep us informed. Love you and sending lots of prayers. Jean

(Editor's Note: this is a perfect blog story!)

Golf Tips from the Master

Garrett and Johnny,

Papa so wanted to golf with you boys. Although this may not happen, here, I have played more than a few rounds with him and can impart a little Grandpa wisdom around the golf course. The message will be somewhat muted as it comes to you through a filter as opposed to in an experience. His contemporaries likely have better stories, you'll have to ask them. They may not be as instructional, but likely no less educational. Little of this will mean anything to you for another 10-12 years or so. Some of the below wisdoms are Michigan golfing vs. Florida golfing. His game and the 19th hole (I'm sure) were more subdued the further South he got for some reason. Changes in latitudes...

_______________________

Neil on Golf (as interpreted by Dean- through observation, some frustration, and many great times! More of his love of the game and the metaphors for life were passed on to me than his skill. I may have beaten him twice. He was surprised both times, as he should have been. By the way I consider any side of the score card as a victory, (see 11.) below, so its doubtful I ever won 18)

1.) Have confidence in your game. No one else will. The only difference between you and a professional golfer is dedication (i.e. 1000 + swings per day, everyday.)
2.) In competition ensure that your opponent loses confidence in their game. Have a good first hole. Momentum and confidence are huge in golf. Ask them things like what their longest drive is. Complement his huge expensive driver. "You can probably hit that a mile!" Things like that usually work. After a few bad drives, remind him that he may just "need to swing harder."
3.) If playing at a private club "grease" the starter. You'll be glad you did. This ensures things like you are not behind the slowest foursome out there, when you could have gone out on 10 wide open. And you don't cool your heels while people that arrived later seemed to all have a tee time, though they had no more idea when they would arrive after work than you did.
4.) The sand wedge is called that for a reason. If you think you can control the sand wedge around the green you better read the difference between you and a professional golfer again.
5.) The 7 iron is your friend. This universal club can almost be used exclusively once your off the tee, on a short hole. It is great to lay up a decent length shot at the green. Perfect close in to the green as well. There is no need to hit some sky high wedge shot to the green -when a punched 7 will get you closer with more control. Get to know your 7 iron. A sand trap without a lip is the perfect time to pull out the 7. This is the best way to get your friends to question your sanity until it winds up close to the hole! Then it is just demoralizing. It is pretty to make nice shots. But most people ask you how you scored as opposed to did you have a couple nice golf shots.
6.) You will never have a better tasting hot dog than at the turn. Papa never called it a hot dog though, it was a "DOG!"
7.) Spend your money on lessons not some fancy clubs. A good golfer could beat you with clubs made in the early 1900's. Its the swing, not the clubs.
8.) A bad day on the course is better than a great day at work.
9.) Why walk when you can ride. This is an old lesson "it only costs a little more to go first class." But it also speeds up the game. Your Grandpa loved being on the golf course unless there was slow play. I have heard him a few times yell "c'mon" to people on the green. Another reason to rent a cart is you can speed right up close to the green and see what the problem is. Slow players love this tactic. So does Dad. There also is no better way to see where that creek is up ahead than to take the cart on a quick spin.
10.) This relates to 9.) if you have to measure your puts and stand behind it forever, you won't be able to play with Papa. Fast play, can at times, make up for poor scoring. If you like playing play 36 not a slow 18. If you take 5 or 6 practice swings - "c'mon" may be heard from behind. Guess who?
11.) You can always do better on the back 9. Turn the card over. Start again.
12.) Bring a few water balls, and more balls than you think you need. Your partner will need them after 2.) above. Remind him how close the trees are and how big the water hazard is. A $1 ball buys $3 beers on the 19th.
13.) The driving range is never on a hill. You will tons of hill shots, downhill shots, uphill shots. All change the game. Play by yourself when no one is on the course and master these shots one after another. Talk yourself through the shot, how a hill lofts your shot and downhill delofts, etc. This all changes club selection. Your trusty 7 iron just turned into a wedge on that hill. You better remember that.
14.) The 2 or 3 iron is great in reverse when you need a lefty shot around a tree. Practice it.
15.) Grandpa loved a wide open course. He cursed the trees and water if too many. He would ask "where is the windmill and green ball." He just loved looking for a lost ball in a 2 foot high grassy rough. Are you kidding me? he would ask. The ball is a $1 or so, your time is worth more than that. Give a few looks and take a nice drop in a casual game. (This contradicts Neil's frugality scense, but affirms his don't invest in lost cause maxim.) You may have forgotten but you are out here to have fun, not look for stuff. You can do that at home. A super long course is a great course to avoid, especially the older you get.
16.) Watch Caddyshack. You simply can't golf without quoting this movie.
17.) Practice your putting, but encourage others to spend time at the driving range. If you have an hour to practice. Forget the driving range and practice the short game.
18.) If you are having a bad round - your shoulder hurts. This turned out to be true later- bursitis. Though I didn't think so at the time. Doesn't matter still works.
19.) Good news. The whole course is your restroom.
20.) Papa's only hole in one ball is in my closet, with its history, written by him. He said we could use it on short par 3s without water, of course. Ignore wisdom number 15 on this one please. You better find it!

I'm sure more will be added to this through time and as memory becomes clearer.

Dean

The GrandKids

Dear Papa Neil,

Hi its Samantha Papa ,I love you so much.I hope you are having a good time with my dad their.I wish i could see you know and maybe get a bear hug.Oh and i really wanted to tell you something that I think you might like.I was watching the alpacas yesterday and Papa Ken said that he had a new i pad its like an i pod and he had a app that you can look up at the sky and it would show you all the constelations it was so cool i saw the moon and some other stars.I am praying for you every night and i hope you get feeling better.I love you and miss you.

love,
Samantha

_______________


hello this is Emily, i love you so much! And i wish i could come and see you so much. Well i hope you will feel better soon! and i wish you a good day. The squirrls in your back yard are so cute. Have they broke the screen yet? Love Emily. And i miss you so much dad, ellen and Mimi.

________________

Hello Papa Neil,


I love you! I hope you get feeling better. I miss you and your bear hugs.
Love you, bye
John

__________________

I miss you I love you. Sorry we didn't come to Florida.
I really really miss you.I wish we could play golf together.
Sorry you are sick
I love you, Garrett( typed by mom)

A Plan

Dad always had a plan. So, absent a better one, here is what we have found to help him. (Link at right upper of page.)

But his plans were never textbook. So there will be as much laughing as we can tolerate, and, of course, classical music in the background.

Dean

Illegal Cat in an Alligator Zone

Just read today's post to Dad. His sense of direction, impeccable, made him laugh at Magellan's comment. He may never have been scolded by her.

Dog's barking next door and Ellen's cat meowing in the entry. Dad loves animals, but not so much in the house. He said that there was an "illegal cat in an alligator zone." The cat/cats made few appearances here when Dad was more mobile.

Don't tell Dad, but the cat is pregnant. Hence its visit. And soon there will be quite a few more than just the one!

Dean

Update Saturday November 13, 2010

Neil slept most of the night without pain, or asking for pain medicine. He had been in some pain over the last several days. Neil's beloved nurse Rose told him that she would still come to see him daily even though hospice has removed her from her position on a professional basis. His visiting angel Carisie also will still be helping. Ellen and I went on a wild goose chase for the strong pain medicine yesterday - 1 pharmacy in Central Florida had it, no pharmacy would tell us over the phone if they had it for "security reasons." Amy and Andy G showed up shortly after we left on our hoped for trip to the local pharmacy that turned into a two hour fiasco led by GPS Magellan who often said "when possible make a legal U-turn"?! Some weren't the later. Mom always says an Angel shows up when needed, we had no idea Amy and Andy would be here, so she was right. Another Angel, Ellen, slept in the room with Mom and Dad, all night, adding much comfort to both, but likely little to her back, as the couch is maybe five feet long.

Neil was fairly alert yesterday, but less so this morning. His legendary snoring has quieted considerably. None of us thought we would ever miss that. We were wrong.

Dean

Sad Update Friday November 12, 2010

Neil has been unable to get out of bed for a few days now. He had a Dr's appointment today with the oncologist, though he was unable to attend. We had hoped and prayed for a miracle, but, as of now, it has not occurred. The Dr informed us that chemotherapy is not working. Despite massive effort from medicine where it is today and Neil's determination, the battle is now in God's hands. Neil was still up for a fight as of this morning, and he has not given up, though it appears that his body is quitting him prematurely. He, and all of us, are only slowly coming to grips with the inevitable. Ellen, Mom and myself were here to give him the shattering news.

Prayers, of course, are needed more now than before. We are meeting with hospice later today. We accept that Dad will have days with us as opposed to months or years. He is still communicating well when we all are not contemplating what lies ahead in his journey.

With Love, and thanking all of you for your love and concern through these trying months,

Dean

Update Monday November 8, 2010

Neil is home from the hospital...very tired from the chemo this week. Thanks to all of you for your prayers. Let's focus our prayers on his strength and being able to walk again. That would make him so happy. love to all, Kay

Update Sunday November 7, 2010

Neil finished his chemo today and had a catscan. We waited all day for the results and I finally came home tonight to get some sleep after being there all night and most of today. Hopefully everything will be alright and he'll come home on Monday. The nurses give him Lobster Thermador and Cherries Jubilee through his feeding tube so they're having fun. Thanks to the Mongovens and Stracks for visiting.
love to all. Kay

Update Saturday November 6, 2010

Neil is having his chemo all day today and may go home tomorrow..not sure. He seems to be feeling better and Carice reports that he makes the nurses laugh. She is with him during the day and I'm there at night. Please continue with the prayers as we have a long way to go. Thanks to all. love, Kay

Update Friday November 5, 2010

Neil had a lot of abdomen pain last night but the meds helped a bit...not sure why this is happening. I stayed the night and Carice will be there 7:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. so I can get some sleep. He has VRE so we have to wear gowns and gloves to enter. He's receiving chemo in room 5107. Dan Strack and the Geaches visited yesterday and Pastor LeeAnn and Dan R. have been to visit. He's sleeping a lot of course.
Kay

Update November 3, 2010

Neil remains in Dr. Phillips hospital. He has moved to room 5107, the chemo floor. We are hoping that his magnesium, potassium and blood cell counts are adequate that he can start chemo in the hospital this week. It has been confirmed that he did not have a heart attack but he is experiencing some pain in his abdomen. Kay

Tickle his whiskers!

I was at Lion Country Safari yesterday and had the chance to tickle the giraffe whiskers just like dad would! LOL He was so cute and soft… Ellen


Neil, always able to find a ticklish spot, in man or animal, LOVED to tickle the whiskers of any animal. One time at a drive through petting zoo a Giraffe bent over for some affection to the driver window and got some, but more importantly the Giraffe met Neil. Not sure if anyone else had ever tickled the giraffe's whiskers before.
Also, the hair between the pad on any dog's paw is never safe from Neil. If you haven't done this - do it today, just barely tickling the hair on a dog's paw drives them crazy. Now my kids and I can never see a dog's paw without doing this. The dog's leg recoils as it can barely stand it, but they appear to like it, as they almost always return for more.

Dean

Update Tuesday November 2, 2010

Neil is in room 3032 (Dr Phillips Hospital), intensive care unit. He is only in intensive care as there were no other rooms, not for his condition. He is allowed 2 visitors at a time, though visitors must wear a yellow gown, as he is being tested for MRSA again. The test is just a precaution as he has been in and out of the hospital so many times. Neil was dehydrated and weak upon entry but is doing a little better now as he begins to regain his strength yet again. We are hopeful he will be going home by mid to late week.

Dean

Update Monday November 1, 2010

Neil is in the hospital- Dr Phillips. He is somewhat dehydrated and is complaining of chest pain, though the EKG looks good so far.

Dean

Random Respect

Two things that stick out in my mind when Dad was working- aside from hearing the garage door open at 6 or 6:30 every morning (described in a previous post) was the way he would answer the phone at work and showing up to coach little league baseball games in a suit and tie.

When I would call Dad at work, he would always answer the phone - not hello- but instead "GILMER". I thought this was pretty neat - makes one get to the point, fast. (This was before caller ID and voicemail.)

But my all time favorite was when he would come to coach a little game in a suit and tie (ala Connie Mack.) Guess I didn't realize it at the time, but he had no time to change. I think a person, even a 10 year old little leaguer, has to respect someone in a suit. (Wonder if we had a better record when the Manager would wear formals instead of the issued T-shirt?)

Dean

Update Thursday October 28, 2010

Thanks to Dan R. for fixing our falling down register in the bedroom and is right now taking Neil for his first outside walk to see the operation of the Haunted Forest in Osprey Park. The chemo on Tuesday really bothered him yesterday but seems to be ok today. He has on his sunglasses and his golfing hat. We'll see how he does after sleeping all morning and two feedings. love, Kay

Halloween with Dad

I would have to agree with Dean on this one! Dad has always loved Halloween and perhaps that is why God gave him his own little Halloween baby! I must say that having a Halloween birthday has been a wonderful birthday indeed! As a child my parents always made sure to make this holiday and my birthday a fun time! I remember it would always start a week or so earlier with dad starting the hype to go select our pumpkin to carve.
All 4 of us would usually go to a pumpkin patch to select the “perfect pumpkin.” But the excitement was in getting it home and dad would eagerly cut the top off so he could watch us “gut” the pumpkin. He would have a whole production set up near a sink so we could sit on the counter or pull up a chair to pull out the guts and seeds of the pumpkin. He would often be caught snickering and taunting us by asking us is it “slimy” and cold, as we would pull out big handfuls of stuff and sort through the seeds to carefully set those slippery little devils onto a cookie tray to later bake. Then dad would carefully carve the face of our pumpkin each year.
He would set this out on the front porch with a candle inside for Halloween night awaiting reactions to our masterpiece. Then the next phase of preparation was selecting our costumes for the big day. It was not like kids have today where you just go to a store and pick one out, we created our own back in our day! We would take something we had in our closet or mom would concoct a creative outfit for us. Then we would await the big night to dress up and go trick or treating.
Mom and Dad would allow me to have a Birthday party or slumber party on top of going out trick or treating. Each year mom would make her specialty chocolate cake with caramel icing, my favorite! So, finally Halloween would come (and each year it changes days) so it was always great when it fell on a weekend because that meant the celebration continued longer.
When I was younger we would also take some time to go to the Jaycee Haunted House which they were very much apart of. They would spend I think the whole month decorating and planning for that thing, so even though those would scare me to death we would go. I would get the sneak preview before they would begin all the “scary” stuff. Dad would take us kids through each room to show us all their work and creations and the “scare factor.” I can remember a few times when I got older I was brave enough to try it with all the effects in full bloom and let me tell you to this day I will never forget what I experienced one year. It was so scary with the floor under you moving, and spiders above you falling nearly colliding with your head, and arms reaching out to grab you, and disappearing images all around, and the screams that you heard in the room you were just about to enter. Dad would always say it wasn’t a good haunted house until someone fell to the floor in fear and “peed themselves.”
I don’t know about you but after seeing the movie Monsters Inc. and the “Scare Factor” idea
I thought now dad could have come up with that, after all I saw him as the One that was able
to scare even those people that seemed so tough, he could get them to jump and let out a scream. As the years rolled on and dad would take these haunted houses from town to town where we would live, being involved and usually the head guru in charge to create the ultimate scare factor centers. He also was the master of scaring others even when it wasn’t Halloween. Like Dean said he would often try to catch us off guard around corners, or doors or in closets, and even as a child when we played hide and seek, he had hiding places where we never did find him. I to this day am not sure how a man of his stature could hide from us kids!?
Dad loves to get a reaction from others whether it’s a scream or a laugh or just to make them laugh at themselves, he is a master at all of these! He is able to take someone’s vulnerabilities and turn them into something they can laugh at within themselves. For instance, one particular friend we have loves to shop and she usually likes more items than she can decide on, so dad points this out and makes it obvious that the best thing to do would be to buy two of everything! So, that resolves that, she does buy two of everything when the decision is just simply too hard to make, why not!?
His other favorite thing to do is to get those “women” especially who are “faint of heart” which he usually does by hiding his pet “motorized” rat
under a nearby table to make it’s appearance at just the exact moment to get the ultimate high pitched scream followed by his howl of glee and pleasure that once again his “little plan” worked to get the shrieking reaction he desired.
Now his latest haunted house experience was held in Orlando, Florida where yes, the “No sayers” told dad that the community just wouldn’t be interested in a haunted house, and indeed he proved them wrong for several years already. He had such a crowd the first year that I believe they had to extend the hours and dates to open up more time for all those who came to get a chance to go through the haunted house. The community rallied and many got involved in this production either by volunteering to help out in a “room” as each group was assigned a room to decorate and staff for the various nights it was open. They also had a haunted hayride around the Orista Bay community which was connected to the Park for a great way to tie the haunted house area to the haunted hay ride route.






The line to get into these events takes hours, but well worth the “scare factor” you get in return! One year dad had all of us involved along with neighbors and friends to help enjoy the fun! We all were decked out in costumes, masks, black outfits for the ability to hide better in the night. Dean and I would jump out and scream or I would use the blower on those passing by on the hay wagon while it made the sound of a chain saw, scaring them to death.
One year I even came up with a younger helper, who thought it would be so much fun to be involved! We drove 3 hours up to Orlando to be there in time for the 1st haunted hay wagon to makes it way past my folk’s house. She hid in a box with only her head poking out, and beat the sides yelling, “Let me out of here.” While I chased the hay wagon dragging a rake yelling, “I’m going to get you, my pretties” dressed as a witch. I would not allow any photos of me dressed this way to be taken, because I would only do this for my daddy!
Many special events have I organized and I owe that largely due to my dad’s encouragement and ideas! As Dean stated dad is a member of the Punxsutawney Phil Ground Hog Club. He encouraged me to offer a Ground Hog Day Celebration here where I work at a Recreation Center, so I did. I had a 5 foot by 5 foot tree stump made by our Parks Crew and found a stuffed ground hog puppet to make it’s grand appearance for all the pre-school age kids to witness!

And other great events sparked by my Dad!
Dr. Seuss Celebration - Breakfast with Santa
(pic missing) (pic missing)

Ellen
(Editors Note- Some pictures have yet to be loaded for this post- still working on that)

Update Monday October 25, 2010

The good news is that Neil does not have MRSA. He does, however, have an infection, weakness and a slight fever so we are monitoring him closely. If he is up to it he will have one day of chemo tomorrow.
Kay

Quiet "Boos"!

Dear Mr. Gilmer You Have a Blog:

Dear Neil,

MRSA is everywhere. It's not surprising that it may be detected after so many hospital visits. Actually, everyone who's visited you recently is probably fending off the MRSA germ. One of the most common means of MRSA spread is... Physicians neckties. While everyone uses anti-bacterial protection, the one item that doesn't get zapped is the doctor's clothing. Good to know, though, that it's bacterial, not a virus, and can be eliminated.

Good idea to keep visitors away for a while, though. Maybe all those little children won't wet their pants when they come to your door this year!

I'm keeping up the Gilmer tradition, though. Every year, the Greens Fork Community Center has a Halloween "Safety Trick 'n Treat" Headquarters. My role is to sit very, very still outside on a bale of straw as a Scare Crow... and when the little ones approach, I say: "BOOO!" Very quietly, just like my Big Brother.

Love,
Mary Anne

No visitors for a few days

Neil is being tested for MRSA. No results yet, but as a precautionary there likely should be no visitors for a few days as we get the results and if positive a procedure for visitors.

Thanks, Dean


Note: directly above this post is a link to explain MRSA.

BOO!

Well Halloween is almost here again. Dad loves every holiday. As of late he has even made a serious push to make Groundhog Day a MAJOR holiday. He is a card carrying member in the Puxatony Phil Club, but that's a story for another day. But, I think Halloween was made for Dad. Anyone that knows Dad knows he will pass up few chances to mess with you (or someone you know.) But a holiday where people pay you to mess with them. Are you kidding me? Dad was always there to collect the money and do a lot of the hard work- for forty years or more. It goes back to the JayCee days in Michigan- I don't know a whole lot of details about these haunted houses that he helped in putting together with a lot of other people- but I know it took a lot of time, and I have no doubt Dad was in on many of the details. He has told stories about the whites of people eyes and the people running out of there screaming for years. Recently he even helped with the first Haunted House in the Hunter's Creek neighborhood in Florida He loves to tell how people said a haunted house would never work in that area. There were big lines, of course, much to his delight. Seems being scared is not a cold weather thing after all.
Nor do you have to save scaring for one day in October. One of Dad's specialties would be to hide behind a door, any door, wait for someone to walk in (but only the person who would react most severely- usually Mom) and say boo! He would have a smile on his face for hours if the reaction was right. Dad lives to get a reaction out of you - and Halloween, well, it just doesn't get much better than people standing in a line with cash in hand and Dad hiding somewhere in that haunted house ready to say BOO!

Dean

Update Wednesday October 20, 2010

What a great day this is. Neil walked quite a bit with the PT and he seems to feel good with no pain. We don't know yet about the red spots but assume it's just a medicine reaction. Wish he could go outside on this beautiful day...maybe later.
Love to all, Kay

Update Tuesday October 19, 2010

We saw the oncologist today and he started chemo...today, pouch to take home....off tomorrow...back on Thursday.
The trip wore Neil out so he's sound asleep to catch up.
Now he has some red spots that we'll have to find out about tomorrow. Love to all, Kay

Update Sunday October 17, 2010

Today was a relatively quiet day. John M. stopped in and of course our nurse Rose came. Because Carrie wants Sundays off Angena will come as she goes to church on Saturday. We're still trying to figure out times for the feeding bag as he isn't always hungry at 8-12-4 and 8. If you know me I like schedules and it 's hard to plan around his tummy.

People keep finding ways to help us. The Massis gave us a fall arrangement for the house and Kathy R. decorated our front porch. Did I mention the pizza card from the Krueckebergs, CD from the Canises and Costco specials from the Geaches. Carolyn Strack keeps telling me how fortunate we are to have so many people looking out for us.

It was nice to be able to go to church today. I had missed a few times since I didn't have a Sunday angel.

8:15 and I'm off to bed while my hubby watches football.
Love to all,
Kay

Update Saturday October 16, 2010

Another exciting night! Neil was being a good sport and going to sit in the chair for his feeding. That didn't happen! When he tried to get in the chair the chair rolled and he fell on the floor. Our angel Dan R. came to our rescue and helped him back in the bed. ...no broken bones thank goodness. Then the night was calm again.
Kay

Update Friday October 15, 2010

Last night the Fentanyl patch for pain caused Neil to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. Imagine my surprise when I came in from the kitchen and found the empty bed since he hasn't been able to walk for awhile. So, at 11 p.m. or so I had to call John M, another angel and neighbor to help me put him back to bed. I called on the Visiting Angels to send me someone to watch him all night so I could get some sleep. She got lost but arrived by 1:30 a.m. so off to bed I went.

A few other complications arrived during the night but today he welcomed John M, the Goads from Bradenton, Jim G and our assistant pastor at Peace Jim B. Carice and I are trying to master the gravity feeding tube. What a lot I've learned.

With all of the prayers being generated for my hubby there has to be a miracle!
love to all of you. Kay

Update Thursday October 14, 2010

Neil came home from the hospital today. He is still very weak and says funny things since he's again wearing the Fentenyl patch for pain. More angels came our way today...Carice, as always helping in so many ways. Then at discharge time Dan R showed up and helped us load the car.
Tonight our VNA nurse Rose came to show me how to do the hanging feeding tube. She has been a special angel for us through all of this. Then Carolyn arrived to have a prayer with us and stayed to help me disconnect the feeding tube. We are truly blessed to have so many friends and family.
Orista Bay, our neighborhood, had an annual meeting Tuesday night. They sent Neil a plaque thanking him for his volunteer service to hte Orista Bay and Hunters Creek neighborhoods.
Our love to all of you and thanks for your support and prayers.
Kay

Update Wednesday October 13, 2010

Neil will probably come home on Thursday. His strength is built up somewhat. They are trying to find the right meds for his stomach and tailbone pain, They are also trying to determine the correct food for his g tube. He is in very good spirits and wants to get on with the chemo next week.
Blessings upon all of you as you continue to pray and have concern for us.
Kay

Update October 12, 2010

Neil is in room 5112 at Dr. Phillips hospital..taken by ambulance on Monday. They are giving him potassium and magnesium. We might have fed him too much through the g tube which caused complications....so much to learn!!! Thank goodness Ellen was here with me when this problem arose.
Kay

Here we go again: October 11, 2010

Photo of Neil's ambulance headed back to the hospital out Ellen's front window. Appears to be a problem with recent procedure (GTube) or perhaps colostomy?

Dean

Update October 8, 2010

Hi Everyone,
Neil came home from the hospital today. He had a beautiful room in which to have his chemo. It was a big corner room
with lots of windows. We could even see the fireworks from Disney at nine every night. Today the nurse is coming to show us how to give him his food through the g tube and check him out.

Kay

Update October 6, 2010

Neil is doing well today and is up for visitors. Kay's computer isn't working today, which is ok, as she is getting some much deserved rest this afternoon, after countless hours at the hospital.

Update October 5, 2010 Pt. II

Neil will likely be at Sand Lake for the next 2-4 days? He has received chemo today, and is very alert and in good spirits for this newest round of treatments. He is in room 5125, 5th floor, B tower.

Dean

Update October 5, 2010

Neil is doing well after the procedure from the other day. He is asking for chemotherapy (which is a great sign, of course) and will be receiving it in the hospital, likely today.

Dean

Get your colonoscopy today!

At the urging of you know who, I had my colonoscopy a few weeks ago. Anyone who may be reading this and putting it off, don't. I assume everyone over 50 that may be reading this has had one recently. But if you've not had one, or need another one, or know someone that needs one- do it today. It is the simplest procedure one can imagine. It only consisted of 64 oz of gatorade mixed with who knows what, to drink the night before. A 30 minute or less outpatient procedure (you are out for the whole thing- thankfully), with 15 minutes of recovery. They say you shouldn't drive home because of the anesthesia,, which may need more time to wear off. Clearly the risk/reward on this is simple - just read the previous 100 posts if you think the above procedure is inconvenient.

P.S. Neil had one 5 years prior to his diagnosis with Stage IV colon cancer. I know, I drove him home from that one. He loves to drive and hates being driven around, so it was memorable. So, every 5 years despite being a popular interval, seems quite inadequate.

Dean

Update October 4, 2010

The G tube procedure has been completed. Dad was feeling great after the procedure and resting well. Hopefully this will help provide the nutrition he so needs and wants.

Dean

A Name that will make Neil smile

I’ve been thinking about my many work experiences with Neil back in “the good old days” of our fledgling careers. We all know how competitive Neil is and he brought that quality directly into his career in sales. So he savored every contract win and followed each contract loss with a “strategic plan” to win the next battle with that competitor, and to win more than we lost. He and I agree on the old adage “don’t get mad, get even”. He had more than his share of wins to celebrate, most of which I’m sure are memorable to him. But we also had a lot of fun in our jobs in those early days, much of it related to the fun and interesting people we worked with at our customers. Now I can’t say for sure, but I’m sure one of Neil’s favorite customers of all time was Jim L., the geeky, bow tie wearing, absent minded professor at Chevrolet engineering. In retrospect, I think Jim was a lot like Neil. Super intelligent, competitive and loved to have fun. Well fun in those days was lunch with the customer, where the conversations ranged from immediate business issues to politics, religion, the state of the economy, etc. But with Jim it seemed they always started with a few new jokes that he had heard that set the tone for the lunch conversations. And by the time the lunch was over, all conversations seemed to take on a humorous light due to the amount of alcohol consumed with our meals. In fact, what I remember as the most notable accomplishment of Jim L. (and I believe Neil will too) was his invention of the numerical lunch rating system. It had nothing to do with the quality of the meal or the excellence of the service. It was solely focused on the amount of alcohol consumed. On his scale, a worthy lunch was a 32. Three drinks before lunch and two after. Needless to say, we tried to get the important business issues covered in the mornings! And how we did this and then made the long drive from the east side of Detroit to Battle Creek on a regular basis escapes me. I’m sure it had something to do with our relative youth at the time!

So here’s a toast to one of our all time favorite customers and one that I’m sure will make Neil smile. Especially when contrasting with the engineers at American Motors who would call Neil on a Friday morning and demand that we meet them for lunch in Detroit, to be followed by a short meeting, then the long drive back to Battle Creek in rush hour traffic. Obviously arranged because they didn’t have any suppliers arranged for lunch on that day. Those lunches were memorable, but for entirely different reasons!



All the best to Neil and family!



Chuck M.

Update October 1, 2010

My how a day changes!! The hospital doctor was going to discharge Neil today. I told her I wanted the surgeon and a wound care nurse to look at him first. So the day progressed. The surgeon wanted him to have a PEG--tube in his stomach. So the gastro dr. came in. The open wound is in the same place where he would need to put the PEG. Thus, on Monday he will have a Gastrostomy or G tube. He will have an endoscopy to find the best place for it.

I have consulted several doctors, nurses, friends and of course our kids and Neil. Since he is unable to eat much or drink as much as needed he feels he would wither away if he doesn't take a chance with this.

Please pray for him especially on Monday and pray for strength for me as decisions have to be made. Hopefully this will build him up enough for his 6th chemo.

Sherry and John Ede...college friends of Neil's have been here this week to help us out and visit with Neil from time to time.

love to all, Kay

Update September 30, 2010

We are hopeful Neil will be getting out of the hospital tomorrow. He was able to walk with the physical therapist today. He, of course, so much prefers being at home. He summarizes his hospital stay today as "S...L...O...W."

Dean

A few improvements? We need photos and stories.

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Thank you,

Dean

Septemer 2010 Larry-Neil-Chris-Dan
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