Garrett and Johnny,
Papa so wanted to golf with you boys. Although this may not happen, here, I have played more than a few rounds with him and can impart a little Grandpa wisdom around the golf course. The message will be somewhat muted as it comes to you through a filter as opposed to in an experience. His contemporaries likely have better stories, you'll have to ask them. They may not be as instructional, but likely no less educational. Little of this will mean anything to you for another 10-12 years or so. Some of the below wisdoms are Michigan golfing vs. Florida golfing. His game and the 19th hole (I'm sure) were more subdued the further South he got for some reason. Changes in latitudes...
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Neil on Golf (as interpreted by Dean- through observation, some frustration, and many great times! More of his love of the game and the metaphors for life were passed on to me than his skill. I may have beaten him twice. He was surprised both times, as he should have been. By the way I consider any side of the score card as a victory, (see 11.) below, so its doubtful I ever won 18)
1.) Have confidence in your game. No one else will. The only difference between you and a professional golfer is dedication (i.e. 1000 + swings per day, everyday.)
2.) In competition ensure that your opponent loses confidence in their game. Have a good first hole. Momentum and confidence are huge in golf. Ask them things like what their longest drive is. Complement his huge expensive driver. "You can probably hit that a mile!" Things like that usually work. After a few bad drives, remind him that he may just "need to swing harder."
3.) If playing at a private club "grease" the starter. You'll be glad you did. This ensures things like you are not behind the slowest foursome out there, when you could have gone out on 10 wide open. And you don't cool your heels while people that arrived later seemed to all have a tee time, though they had no more idea when they would arrive after work than you did.
4.) The sand wedge is called that for a reason. If you think you can control the sand wedge around the green you better read the difference between you and a professional golfer again.
5.) The 7 iron is your friend. This universal club can almost be used exclusively once your off the tee, on a short hole. It is great to lay up a decent length shot at the green. Perfect close in to the green as well. There is no need to hit some sky high wedge shot to the green -when a punched 7 will get you closer with more control. Get to know your 7 iron. A sand trap without a lip is the perfect time to pull out the 7. This is the best way to get your friends to question your sanity until it winds up close to the hole! Then it is just demoralizing. It is pretty to make nice shots. But most people ask you how you scored as opposed to did you have a couple nice golf shots.
6.) You will never have a better tasting hot dog than at the turn. Papa never called it a hot dog though, it was a "DOG!"
7.) Spend your money on lessons not some fancy clubs. A good golfer could beat you with clubs made in the early 1900's. Its the swing, not the clubs.
8.) A bad day on the course is better than a great day at work.
9.) Why walk when you can ride. This is an old lesson "it only costs a little more to go first class." But it also speeds up the game. Your Grandpa loved being on the golf course unless there was slow play. I have heard him a few times yell "c'mon" to people on the green. Another reason to rent a cart is you can speed right up close to the green and see what the problem is. Slow players love this tactic. So does Dad. There also is no better way to see where that creek is up ahead than to take the cart on a quick spin.
10.) This relates to 9.) if you have to measure your puts and stand behind it forever, you won't be able to play with Papa. Fast play, can at times, make up for poor scoring. If you like playing play 36 not a slow 18. If you take 5 or 6 practice swings - "c'mon" may be heard from behind. Guess who?
11.) You can always do better on the back 9. Turn the card over. Start again.
12.) Bring a few water balls, and more balls than you think you need. Your partner will need them after 2.) above. Remind him how close the trees are and how big the water hazard is. A $1 ball buys $3 beers on the 19th.
13.) The driving range is never on a hill. You will tons of hill shots, downhill shots, uphill shots. All change the game. Play by yourself when no one is on the course and master these shots one after another. Talk yourself through the shot, how a hill lofts your shot and downhill delofts, etc. This all changes club selection. Your trusty 7 iron just turned into a wedge on that hill. You better remember that.
14.) The 2 or 3 iron is great in reverse when you need a lefty shot around a tree. Practice it.
15.) Grandpa loved a wide open course. He cursed the trees and water if too many. He would ask "where is the windmill and green ball." He just loved looking for a lost ball in a 2 foot high grassy rough. Are you kidding me? he would ask. The ball is a $1 or so, your time is worth more than that. Give a few looks and take a nice drop in a casual game. (This contradicts Neil's frugality scense, but affirms his don't invest in lost cause maxim.) You may have forgotten but you are out here to have fun, not look for stuff. You can do that at home. A super long course is a great course to avoid, especially the older you get.
16.) Watch Caddyshack. You simply can't golf without quoting this movie.
17.) Practice your putting, but encourage others to spend time at the driving range. If you have an hour to practice. Forget the driving range and practice the short game.
18.) If you are having a bad round - your shoulder hurts. This turned out to be true later- bursitis. Though I didn't think so at the time. Doesn't matter still works.
19.) Good news. The whole course is your restroom.
20.) Papa's only hole in one ball is in my closet, with its history, written by him. He said we could use it on short par 3s without water, of course. Ignore wisdom number 15 on this one please. You better find it!
I'm sure more will be added to this through time and as memory becomes clearer.
Dean
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