Ok it's been a while since I articulated all that goes on in my head so here goes. I am so grateful for everyone's thoughtfulness, love and support in so many ways! It makes me realize how connected we all are and by that I mean just how much one life really does affect so many others in more ways than we as individuals even know until times like this.
It has also made me realize just how much each of our uniqueness can not be replaced by any other human being. For instance any of you that have heard my dad tell a joke or share his insight on others uniqueness or to hear his laugh, well it's entirely his own style and irreplaceable in my eyes!
I have also seen the different ways that each of us deal with life's challenges, again so different and all so needed to get us all through this life. I know each of us see things so differently and in kind deals that way as well... But for me I am a woman of faith and matter who says or thinks I need to look at this situation realistically I see through eyes of faith. With that being said I am standing in the gap for my dad coming against any words spoken to him or about him that are contrary to the will of God for his life. This means that I believe with God all things are possible (including his total healing) even when with our natural mind and eyes things do not look good I know there is a much bigger force in control and working all things together for good for my dad, my family and all of our friends too! I do know that through this ordeal we have all grown closer and really been there for one another the best we each could, for this is what I mean by God uses every situation for our good and to teach us. It has been amazing to see who is available, visits, calls, offers a hand and such an outpouring of cards and gifts to show you are thinking of us! What a time to treasure! The time I have had with my dad has been so healing for our relationship. Let me explain. In my life in large prior to giving my life to the Lord I was very emotionally weak and still at times struggle with this. Majority of my growing up days dad would push me in this arena which many times I took very hard not understanding why he "didn't get me" so to speak. Thus causing me to put him at arms length for my own protection emotionally. Through this ordeal with cancer he and I have had moments to share our hearts and for the first time he explained his side of trying to help me "get tougher" to face the world. This fact of his trying to not in actuality hurt me but instead he was in his way trying to protect me. This explanation made me deep so loved and treasured something I sought my whole life through trying to please others when in fact who knew I was the apple of my Father's eye! Wow such healing came to me that day and it then opened my faded heart to care for and want to repay him by protecting him when he can't do it for himself. I do this by showing self-less love for him through various means but one I protested my whole life now is how he knows I've arrived, I tickle his feet!
I find this life so full of lessons and one I am always amazed to learn is that we all need to learn to bask in good times, good friends and good health because everything has a season and some last a lifetime while others are short lived and we must recognize and treasure the good times!
When I lost my best friend I began to recognize that this life can be gone all too soon so grasp those in your life and see their strengths and uniqueness and enjoy them to the optimum! If that means you have to learn to overlook things about these friends or family that bug you, do it ... It's worth if to love! 1 Corinthians 13 says love is patient, kind, long-suffering, does not keep count of a suffered wrong and always protects, trusts, hopes and preservers. So here's to hoping in a miracle in love! From my lips to God's heart I pray it be so. One thing I know God responds to faith so again I say I'm standing in the gap for the miracle to come! Amen.
Ok on that note now you know the things at least on this matter that I ponder in my heart and believe. Good night! May the Lord watch between you and me til such a time and then what a rejoicing there will be! Joyfully, Ellen
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