(Editor's Note: Tony was kind enough to pass on the notes from his lovely spoken tribute to Neil on Sunday. He thought he might have been hard to understand due to English not being his native tongue and the emotion of the day. The emotion, in the end, was part of the message- and made it better. And the message was crystal clear. Thank you Tony!)
NEIL GILMER’S CELEBRATION OF LIFE MEMORIAL
PEACE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
NOVEMBER 28, 2010
INTRODUCTION
THANK YOU KAY, ELLEN AND DEAN FOR ALLOWING ME TO EXPRESS SOME WORDS ON THIS CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR SOMEONE WE ALL LOVED AND CHERISHED. WE WERE FORTUNATE AND BLESSED TO HAVE HAD NEIL AMONG US IN OUR LIVES. HE WAS AN OUTSTANDING HUSBAND, FATHER, GRANDFATHER, FRIEND AND CITIZEN. HIS DEPARTURE IS DIFFICULT TO ALL, AND INDEED IT IS TO ME, AS WE BECAME VERY GOOD FRIENDS. I PROUDLY CALLED HIM BROTHER.
WHEN KAY & NEIL MOVED TO ORISTA BAY, ELEVEN YEARS AGO, NEIL AND I PLAYED GOLF A FEW TIMES BEFORE I MET KAY. WHEN I MET HER, SHE SAID TO ME: “YOU ARE GOING TO BE GOOD FOR NEIL”. I TOOK HER COMMENT AS A COMPLIMENT AND AS VOTE OF APPROVAL. THEREAFTER, WE HAD GREAT TIMES. DURING ELEVEN YEARS WE PLAYED MORE THAN 1,000 ROUNDS OF GOLF, MANY TIMES 27-36 HOLES PER DAY.
INTELLECT
NEIL WAS A PERSON OF GREAT INTELLECT. HE HAD DEEP KNOWLEDGE OF ABOUT EVERY CONCEIVABLE TOPIC, FROM THE SIMPLE ONES TO THE MOST COMPLICATED: TECHNICAL, SCIENTIFIC, THE SPACE, UNIVERSE, ARTS, ETC. HE TALKED ABOUT MANY TOPICS WITH AUTHORITY USING SIMPLE WORDS AND TERMS. HE WAS PROFESSORIAL AND WANTED TO BE CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD. I ENJOYED TALKING TO HIM FOR ENDLESS HOURS AS WE NEVER RAN OUT OF TOPICS, IT WAS NEVER BORING.
GOLF
NEEDLESS TO SAY, THAT NEIL WAS A GOLF ENTHUSIAST. AS A GOLFER HE WAS A TRUE LOVER OF THE GAME AND QUITE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND RESPECTFUL OF THE RULES AND ETHICS OF THE GAME. VERY IMPORTANTLY, HE WAS AND EXCELLENT GOLFER WITH GREAT ABILITY TO PLAY AROUND THE GREENS WHERE HE WAS ONE OF THE BEST.
THINGS WE SHARED
WE SHARED SO MANY STORIES FOR YEARS, INCLUDING THOSE OF OUR OWN FAMILIES. WE COUNSELED EACH OTHER ABOUT PROBLEMS AND DECISIONS. THERE ARE SIMILARITIES IN OUR UPBRINGING. ALTHOUGH FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, WE HAD TO HUSTLE IN AGRICULTURAL COMMUNITIES LIVING WITHIN CERTAIN LIMITATIONS IN DIFFICULT TIMES.
WE ALSO HAD SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS IN BUSINESS AND THE CORPORATE WORLD, AS WE DEALT WITH LARGE ENTITIES AND TRAVELED TO MANY COUNTRIES. WE ALSO ANALYZED AND DISCUSSED PROBLEMS IN OUR SOCIETY AND IN THE WORLD, ALSO THE CHALLENGES ON THE U.S. ECONOMY IN THE GLOBAL MARKET. HE DISCUSSED THOSE ISSUES WITH KNOWLEDGE AND FACTS.
THE CLASSICAL MUSIC
THE CLASSICAL MUSIC ALSO UNITED US. BOTH OF US HAD MUSICAL EDUCATION AND WERE LOVERS OF IT. HE TOLD ME THAT HIS MOTHER INSPIRED HIS INTEREST IN CLASSICAL MUSIC - AND HE WAS VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE OF IT. AS WE BOTH HAD EXTENSIVE COLLECTIONS OF MUSIC, WE ENJOYED LISTENING TO MUSIC AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.
FRENCH - WHEN YOUNG, HE SPENT A YEAR IN PARIS STUDYING FRENCH AT LA SORBONNE AND HE SPOKE FRENCH VERY WELL.
HUMOR
TO TALK ABOUT NEIL, WE HAVE TO MENTION HIS HUMOR. THIS WAS ONE OF HIS STRONGEST CHARACTERISTICS. HE WAS QUITE HUMOROUS AND WAS ALWAYS TELLING AND PLAYING JOKES ABOUT EVERYTHING. JOKES ABOUT HIS LIFE EXPERIENCE OR SPONTANEOUS ONES BASED ON THE SITUATION AT HAND. HE WOULD PLAY A SMALL PRANK AT ANY MOMENT. HE ENJOYED HUMOROUS MOVIES AND LOVED RECALLING LINES AND JOKES FROM THEM, ESPECIALLY “CADDY SHACK”, “SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT” AND “THE GREEK FAT WEDDING”. DUE TO HIS UNIQUE MEMORY HE COULD RECITE THE LINES AND RECALL THEIR SCENES ACCURATELY. HE HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS AND MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH.
NEILISM
IN HIS WORKPLACE (MAINLY AT EATON), HE BECAME FAMOUS FOR WHAT THEY CALL NEILISMS. THESE ARE PHRASES AND LINES TO ILLUSTRATE AN ISSUE OR SITUATION, MOSTLY WITH HUMOR. NEIL USED THOSE TO MOTIVATE HIS CO-WORKERS AND THEY BECAME COMPANY SLOGANS TO THE EXTENT THAT HIS PEERS PUBLISHED A PAMPHLET WITH MORE THAN A 100 OF THOSE PHRASES. TO PROVOKE ME TO PLAY GOLF FOR LONGER HOURS, HE USED ONE OF THOSE LINES: “NEVER, NEVER LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE”, OR A RHETORICAL QUESTION- “ARE WE GOING TO LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE?”
SOMETIMES, WE LEFT MONEY ON THE TABLE. TODAY, I WISH I HAD STAYED WITH NEIL “ON THE TABLE” A LITTLE LONGER.
CLOSING
NEIL WAS A LEGEND AT WORK AND TO HIS NEIGHBORS AND FRIENDS. HE WAS AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND MANY. TODAY I TELL TO MY FRIEND AND BROTHER, THANKS FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP, THE BEAUTIFUL DAYS OF GOLF AND GREAT MEMORIES. I WILL CHERISH OUR MEMORIES AND REMEMBER YOU FOR EVER. WHEN I ALSO MOVE TO THAT OTHER SPIRITUAL PLANE OF LIFE, I WILL LOOK FOR YOU TO RENEW OUR FRIENDSHIP AND CONTINUE PLAYING GOLF MUCH MORE.
PROMISE THAT THEN; WE WILL”NOT LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLE.”
ANTONIO GONZALEZ
NEIGHBOR, FRIEND AND GOLF BUDDY 11-28-2010
OTHER EXTRA TOPICS
GOLF LEAGUE
DURING YEARS THE RESIDENTS OF H.C. TRIED UNSUCCESSFULLY TO ORGANIZE A GOLF LEAGUE FOR OUR RESIDENTS. THE PREVIOUS MANAGEMENT OF THE GOLF COURSE WAS INSENSITIVE TO OUR REQUEST. THREE YEARS AGO, HAVING A NEW MANAGEMENT AT THE CLUB, NEIL AND JOHN WISEMAN SUCCEEDED IN ORGANIZING THE GOLF LEAGUE THAT PLAYS WEEKLY AT THE HC GOLF COURSE. NEIL WAS PROUD OF THIS ACCOMPLISHMENT. THIS LEAGUE HELPED HIM MADE NEW GOLF FRIENDS.
FRUGALITY
NEIL GAVE A NEW PERSPECTIVE TO THE FRUGALITY CONCEPT. HE WAS PROUD OF HIS FRUGALITY AND WAS VERY ATTENTIVE AND OVER-CAUTIOUS WHEN DEALING WITH HIS MONEY FOR WHICH HE BECAME POPULAR. THERE WAS AN EXCEPTION TO THIS. IT WAS WHEN HE AND OTTO AND NANCY CANNIS BOUGHT A GORGEOUS BOAT VALUED IN MORE THAN $200K WHEN PURCHASED. AS HE WAS SO FRUGAL, I HAD TO INQUIRE HIM, - HOW DID YOU REACH THE DECISION TO BUY SUCH AN EXPENSIVE ASSET? IN A HUMOROUS MANNER HIS ANSWER WAS A PHRASE THAT BECAME POPULAR WHEN DURING THE TECHNOLOGY STOCK MARKET CRISIS AROUND YEAR 2000. HE SAID, “THAT WAS A MOMENT OF IRRATIONAL EXUBERANCE”.
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT
NEIL GOT INVOLVED IN SEVERAL ACTIVITIES OF THE HUNTER’S CREEK COMMUNITY. HE SERVED ON THE ORISTA BAY NEIGHBORHOOD COMMITTEE FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND REPRESENTED US ON THE H.C. MASTER ASSOCIATION BOARD.
HALLOWEEN
ONE OF HIS FAVORITE FESTIVITIES WAS HALLOWEEN. USING THE EXPERIENCE HE BROUGHT FROM MICHIGAN, HE HELPED TO ORGANIZE THE FIRST HUNTER’S CREEP NIGHTS HAUNTED HOUSE AND HAYRIDE. THIS WAS AN ASTONISHING SUCCESS AND NEIL USED TO DRESS IN THE MOST DREADFUL COSTUMES AND OUTFITS, SUCH AS "THE GRIM REAPER" TO SCARE PEOPLE. HE HAD MUCH FUN DOING THIS.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Celebration of Life Details
Florida "Celebration of Life" Service
Date: Sunday, November 28, 2010
Peace United Methodist Church
13502 Town Loop Blvd.
Orlando, FL 32837
Phone: 407-438-8947
www.peaceumcorlando.org
Time: 12:30pm
Luncheon to follow service.
Indiana "Memorial Service"
Date: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Address: Greensfork Community Center
117 E Pearl Street
Greens Fork, IN 47345
Time: 1:00pm
Date: Sunday, November 28, 2010
Peace United Methodist Church
13502 Town Loop Blvd.
Orlando, FL 32837
Phone: 407-438-8947
www.peaceumcorlando.org
Time: 12:30pm
Luncheon to follow service.
Indiana "Memorial Service"
Date: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Address: Greensfork Community Center
117 E Pearl Street
Greens Fork, IN 47345
Time: 1:00pm
Monday, November 22, 2010
We remember Neil
Like others, we will miss the unique and jovial humor of Neil. We will also miss his kindness and thoughtfulness especially as host along with Kay as hostess at numerous occasions, especially in Florida after our respective retirements from Eaton. A very special memory is we being together the evening of 9/11/01 and sharing a joint concern for our nation and security.
In the automotive supplier business, Neil earned the respect of both his internal customers, our technical and manufacturing staffs, as well as our external customers who knew and trusted him as knowledgeable about our products as applied to their needs - a very unique and valued quality ! Neil's several acquaintances at nearby Cummins Engine in Columbus, IN would attest to his prowess. It was indeed a pleasure (and fun) to work with him and to enjoy the many successes along the way.
Steve & Nancy Z
Muncie, IN
In the automotive supplier business, Neil earned the respect of both his internal customers, our technical and manufacturing staffs, as well as our external customers who knew and trusted him as knowledgeable about our products as applied to their needs - a very unique and valued quality ! Neil's several acquaintances at nearby Cummins Engine in Columbus, IN would attest to his prowess. It was indeed a pleasure (and fun) to work with him and to enjoy the many successes along the way.
Steve & Nancy Z
Muncie, IN
Florida/Indiana Celebration of Life Information coming soon
We will be posting all the details/directions/accomidations for the two services for Neil. One in Orlando and one in Indiana within the next 24 hours or so.
Your Dad Is a Legend
You Dad was an inspiration to so many John. I had the pleasure of working with him during my years at Eaton and still remember many of his classic quotes:
· “Part number and design changes are our best friends.”
· “Most problems are the result of improbable blunders and incredible oversights. Plan thoughtfully so they don’t happen as often.”
· “The bigger the customer, the more likely that someone there does not like you.”
· “When your competitor is down – this is generally a good time to kick him.”
· Listening is impossible with a tongue on the loose.
He had so many other great comments, but I’m sure others have weighed in as well. Rest well Neil, you will always be in our hearts. If the good Lord has anything to sell, rest assured that the team just got an all American.
Best Regards / Namaskar / Üdvözlettel / Mit freundlichen Grussen / 祝好/ よろしく / Saludos / Meilleures Salutations / 안부를 전하며 / Saluti
John J. McG
Chief Procurement Officer
BorgWarner WHQ
(Editor's Note: See posts from May 21, 2010 and a few day's before for a comprehensive list of business quotes and ideas from Neil.)
· “Part number and design changes are our best friends.”
· “Most problems are the result of improbable blunders and incredible oversights. Plan thoughtfully so they don’t happen as often.”
· “The bigger the customer, the more likely that someone there does not like you.”
· “When your competitor is down – this is generally a good time to kick him.”
· Listening is impossible with a tongue on the loose.
He had so many other great comments, but I’m sure others have weighed in as well. Rest well Neil, you will always be in our hearts. If the good Lord has anything to sell, rest assured that the team just got an all American.
Best Regards / Namaskar / Üdvözlettel / Mit freundlichen Grussen / 祝好/ よろしく / Saludos / Meilleures Salutations / 안부를 전하며 / Saluti
John J. McG
Chief Procurement Officer
BorgWarner WHQ
(Editor's Note: See posts from May 21, 2010 and a few day's before for a comprehensive list of business quotes and ideas from Neil.)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
One of Neil and Kay's biggest Angels! Thank you Mary Anne!
We are so grateful Neil's sister, Mary Anne, could be there for Dad in his most trying days. We know how hard it was on her to see her big brother in such shape - but she took care of all the things that we just couldn't.
Love,
Dean
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Neil's Final Resting Place, Greens Fork Indiana - Sugar Grove Cemetery
Neil's parents, grandparents, prior generations, and many other family members will be just a few steps away. The family farm where he grew up is but a few miles from the Church he attended as a boy, and the cemetery his father, and uncles, mowed for years.
Neil's Uncle, in his 90's, and shortly prior to his death, sums up Sugar Grove best:
"In Indiana there are a few acres of sacred ground to me, Sugar Grove Cemetery. In early farming days small communities developed in each township. They had their one-room schoolhouse and a church. Their social life occurred in these two venues. I was born and lived until college in Sugar Grove. The schoolhouse was gone but the church and cemetery remained. They both remind me so much of Thomas Gray’s Elegy Written in a country churchyard. Almost my entire family is buried here, going back to the early 1800’s. We worshiped here, attended funerals, weddings, Sunday School picnics, etc. I also worked cutting the grass. Clipping around each stone by hand paid a dividend—I learned the names and history of my family and community.
Both of my parents, my four grandparents, and three great grandparents are buried here plus most family members before and afterwards.
Perhaps a cemetery is the best place for solitude and reflection."
-Merritt G. “Gil” Gilmer 2009
Well friends and loved ones,
I don't know about you but I was thinking and wondering about dad today driving home from the airport and this was the sky on my way! I totally took it as if dad was smiling down from heaven, he made it and all the suffering and pain is now over! Good-bye for now dad!
Ellen
I don't know about you but I was thinking and wondering about dad today driving home from the airport and this was the sky on my way! I totally took it as if dad was smiling down from heaven, he made it and all the suffering and pain is now over! Good-bye for now dad!
Ellen
Courier-Times Obituary (New Castle, Indiana newspaper)
John Neil Gilmer
John Neil Gilmer, 69, of Orlando, FL, died Friday, Nov. 19, 2010 in his home.
He was born Feb. 7, 1941 in New Castle, son of John and Mary Alice (Beeson) Gilmer of Greens Fork. He is survived by his wife of 46 years, Kay Crum Gilmer; a daughter, Ellen Marie Gilmer of Boynton Beach, FL, and a son, John Dean (Shelaine) Gilmer of Indianapolis and their four children.
He also is survived by a sister, Mary Anne (Thomas) Butters of Greens Fork; a brother-in-law, Denny (Marge) Crum of Sulphur Springs, an aunt, Mildred Thornburg of Richmond, numerous nieces, nephews and cousins.
He was preceded in death by his parents and a granddaughter, Elizabeth Nicole Gilmer.
A 1959 graduate of Hagerstown High School, Mr. Gilmer attended Butler University, The Sorbonne in Paris, France, and was graduated from Earlham College. He spent his entire career in the automotive component industry: Perfect Circle/Dana from 1964-67, and Eaton Corporation from 1967-1999, where he won a patent for a powdered metal valve seat insert and served as sales manager of the Engine Components Division.
Mr. Gilmer was known best for his unique wit, broad knowledge and passion for golf.
A Celebration of Life will be held at 12:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 28 at Peace United Methodist Church in Orlando. A memorial service will be held at 1 p.m. at the Greens Fork Community Center Sunday, Dec. 5. Burial will follow at Sugar Grove Cemetery near Greens Fork.
Condolences may be sent to the family at NeilGilmerMemorialSite@gmail.com.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Peace UMC, 13502 Town Loop Blvd., Orlando, FL 32837 or Riley Children's Hospital Foundation, 30 South Meridian St. #200, Indianapolis, IN 46204.
Nov. 19, 2000
the courier times link: http://thecouriertimes.com/Main.asp?SectionID=9&SubSectionID=24&ArticleID=256034
(Editor's Note: Their is a link to the Eaton patent at upper right, titled " Link to Eaton patent" on this blog. As well as a link to the Sugar Grove Cemetery where many many Gilmers have been buried.)
John Neil Gilmer, 69, of Orlando, FL, died Friday, Nov. 19, 2010 in his home.
He was born Feb. 7, 1941 in New Castle, son of John and Mary Alice (Beeson) Gilmer of Greens Fork. He is survived by his wife of 46 years, Kay Crum Gilmer; a daughter, Ellen Marie Gilmer of Boynton Beach, FL, and a son, John Dean (Shelaine) Gilmer of Indianapolis and their four children.
He also is survived by a sister, Mary Anne (Thomas) Butters of Greens Fork; a brother-in-law, Denny (Marge) Crum of Sulphur Springs, an aunt, Mildred Thornburg of Richmond, numerous nieces, nephews and cousins.
He was preceded in death by his parents and a granddaughter, Elizabeth Nicole Gilmer.
A 1959 graduate of Hagerstown High School, Mr. Gilmer attended Butler University, The Sorbonne in Paris, France, and was graduated from Earlham College. He spent his entire career in the automotive component industry: Perfect Circle/Dana from 1964-67, and Eaton Corporation from 1967-1999, where he won a patent for a powdered metal valve seat insert and served as sales manager of the Engine Components Division.
Mr. Gilmer was known best for his unique wit, broad knowledge and passion for golf.
A Celebration of Life will be held at 12:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 28 at Peace United Methodist Church in Orlando. A memorial service will be held at 1 p.m. at the Greens Fork Community Center Sunday, Dec. 5. Burial will follow at Sugar Grove Cemetery near Greens Fork.
Condolences may be sent to the family at NeilGilmerMemorialSite@gmail.com.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Peace UMC, 13502 Town Loop Blvd., Orlando, FL 32837 or Riley Children's Hospital Foundation, 30 South Meridian St. #200, Indianapolis, IN 46204.
Nov. 19, 2000
the courier times link: http://thecouriertimes.com/Main.asp?SectionID=9&SubSectionID=24&ArticleID=256034
(Editor's Note: Their is a link to the Eaton patent at upper right, titled " Link to Eaton patent" on this blog. As well as a link to the Sugar Grove Cemetery where many many Gilmers have been buried.)
Thinking of You
Kay, Mary Anne, Dean and Ellen,
I am so very sorry for your loss and while I know that this is a very difficult time, I'm confident that your fond and loving memories will sustain you.
I'm sorry I didn't know Neil personally but I am so very appreciative that he pushed me to get Dad to write about his experiences in the war and, subsequently, to write what has become such a treasure to our family. We will be forever indebted to him. I hope he knew how grateful we all were.
I wish I were closer to be able to give each of you a big hug.
May you find peace in the coming days.
With love,
Debbie
I am so very sorry for your loss and while I know that this is a very difficult time, I'm confident that your fond and loving memories will sustain you.
I'm sorry I didn't know Neil personally but I am so very appreciative that he pushed me to get Dad to write about his experiences in the war and, subsequently, to write what has become such a treasure to our family. We will be forever indebted to him. I hope he knew how grateful we all were.
I wish I were closer to be able to give each of you a big hug.
May you find peace in the coming days.
With love,
Debbie
Friday, November 19, 2010
Our Condolences
We are so sorry to hear the sad news of Neil's passing. We wish to express our sincere condolences to you and family. Your consolation is that now he is in peace. Still you will have such great memories to carry and treasure forever.
As you know, I have lost more than a golfing partner. He was my good friend whose company and conversation I enjoyed and treasure so much. His friendship enriched my life in many ways as we share our life experiences: business, family, travel, society, etc.
If my memory were as good as it used to be, I could write a book covering our many conversations and stories. His humor gave special touches to his stories and jokes. Eleven years and more than 1,000 rounds of golf, followed by our “19th Hole” social time, is a priceless treasure to me.
I will miss and remember him forever.
Kay, Ellen and Dean we wish you to be well and strong during this difficult time of sorrow.
With love,
Tony and Zulma G
As you know, I have lost more than a golfing partner. He was my good friend whose company and conversation I enjoyed and treasure so much. His friendship enriched my life in many ways as we share our life experiences: business, family, travel, society, etc.
If my memory were as good as it used to be, I could write a book covering our many conversations and stories. His humor gave special touches to his stories and jokes. Eleven years and more than 1,000 rounds of golf, followed by our “19th Hole” social time, is a priceless treasure to me.
I will miss and remember him forever.
Kay, Ellen and Dean we wish you to be well and strong during this difficult time of sorrow.
With love,
Tony and Zulma G
Love and sorrow from Portage, MI
My first time on a private boat was with Mr. Gilmer and Dean. Of course Dean didn't like boating much, but went along just because his old roommate was visiting his folks in Farmington Hills, MI.
We got on the boat and started cruising the lake, and for some reason Mr. Gilmer "Neil" decides to stop and take a look at the beautiful lake and eat a few Chocolate M&Ms. When he decides to go back the engine wouldn't start, so he calls the marina for help, a young kid comes with his rescue boat and gets on our boat and pushes his rescue boat away and tried to start our boat. I paused for a minute while I was thinking about how it was that this kid was planning on getting back while his boat was drifting away, after he pushed it away from our boat. I was the only one, at first, to see that there was something wrong with this picture. Anyway, I had a wonderful time every time I visited and miss you and Kay so much after you left Michigan. I just found out that Neil has passed away this morning hopefully to a better place.
May peace be with him. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
Take care Kay, Ellen and Dean.
Love
Fadi, your best friend
We got on the boat and started cruising the lake, and for some reason Mr. Gilmer "Neil" decides to stop and take a look at the beautiful lake and eat a few Chocolate M&Ms. When he decides to go back the engine wouldn't start, so he calls the marina for help, a young kid comes with his rescue boat and gets on our boat and pushes his rescue boat away and tried to start our boat. I paused for a minute while I was thinking about how it was that this kid was planning on getting back while his boat was drifting away, after he pushed it away from our boat. I was the only one, at first, to see that there was something wrong with this picture. Anyway, I had a wonderful time every time I visited and miss you and Kay so much after you left Michigan. I just found out that Neil has passed away this morning hopefully to a better place.
May peace be with him. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
Take care Kay, Ellen and Dean.
Love
Fadi, your best friend
More Prayers are With You
Kay, Dean and Ellen,
We are so sorry to hear the sad news of Neil’s passing. With you, we take solace in knowing he is at peace. Your wonderful family has many memories to treasure. I’m sure you will tell Neil stories for years to come.
With sincere sympathy,
Chuck and Connie
We are so sorry to hear the sad news of Neil’s passing. With you, we take solace in knowing he is at peace. Your wonderful family has many memories to treasure. I’m sure you will tell Neil stories for years to come.
With sincere sympathy,
Chuck and Connie
John Neil Gilmer passed away today Friday November 19, 2010
Words can't express our sorrow. His peace, now, is our comfort.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
"Could it be a sign"
Was outside trimming and cutting some plants and along came a beautiful butterfly that landed on the flower right in front of me! "Could it be a sign" was the first thing my mom said when I showed her this photo of the moment in time!
Ellen
And, furthermore...
Dear Neil, Kay, Ellen and Dean,
I always remember two little kids standing shyly in front of our garage shortly after our move to So. Moorland Drive, Battle Creek in 1976. It was the beginning of a wonderfully fun time - our friendship with the Gilmers.
Halloween parties; a self- built path up the hill to the "Gilms"; Ellen's chocolate chip cookies; school "snow days" and playing Clue; Officer Endress; snipe hunting; and constant sleepovers (with little sleep) were happy, memorable days.
And those trips out to eat? Remember Laverne and Shirley's? Listening to a full evening of talking via Sharon (Neil was unable to get a word in edgewise. Can you believe it?) And where did Neil come up with the saying "and, furthermore..." Wouldn't we give the world for another night out?
Oh, and those two small children? Ellen and Dean, of course.
And, furthermore...
Sharon
I always remember two little kids standing shyly in front of our garage shortly after our move to So. Moorland Drive, Battle Creek in 1976. It was the beginning of a wonderfully fun time - our friendship with the Gilmers.
Halloween parties; a self- built path up the hill to the "Gilms"; Ellen's chocolate chip cookies; school "snow days" and playing Clue; Officer Endress; snipe hunting; and constant sleepovers (with little sleep) were happy, memorable days.
And those trips out to eat? Remember Laverne and Shirley's? Listening to a full evening of talking via Sharon (Neil was unable to get a word in edgewise. Can you believe it?) And where did Neil come up with the saying "and, furthermore..." Wouldn't we give the world for another night out?
Oh, and those two small children? Ellen and Dean, of course.
And, furthermore...
Sharon
Update Thursday November 18, 2010
Neil continues to rest comfortably (with pain killers.) A new colostomy procedure devised by the "girls" has worked and is giving much needed solace to Neil. Conserving his energy, Neil perks up when the topic is of interest. This is not a new phenomenon, though it has become more pronounced in recent days. Neil continues to be Neil, thank goodness!
Dean
Dean
Any port in a storm
Looking at the picture of Neil at the 'women's john' at hunting camp brought this story back to mind. When Neil was still a fresh water boater, one fine spring day Neil, Herbie, alias The Colonel, and teen son Mike launched Neil's 20 foot boat at Metro Park in Lake St. Clair, MI. After a few hours of sunny boating and Neil consuming some brewskis, Neil felt the call of Mother Nature. No port available, he stopped in the River and proceeded to shake the dew out of the water lily over the side, much to the dismay of Mike, who has never forgotten the incident and recalls it fondly. Herbie
Santa Claus Tonight - A First Hand Account
It was Christmas eve sometime in the ‘80s and we were all at the Gilmer farm. After a hearty Grandma Gilmer dinner which surely included a Turkey and homemade noodles, the adults were talking politics or playing eucre. My sister, Molly, (both of us single-digit age kids at that time) were pretty well behaved. We were mostly self contained and entertaining ourselves at that moment. We weren’t staying at the farm that night and it was starting to get late. Well, if you know my Uncle Neil, you know he’s gifted at the art of mischief and he sensed this prime opportunity. Molly and I were at that age where Christmas morning is the day of all days … the other 364 were all just a buildup to the big one. Yes, Santa was a big deal in those days for us and discovering what he had left under the tree on Christmas morning was the equivalent of willing the lottery. All Uncle Neil did was whisper “Santa … tonight” to Molly and me and the two of us were rousted from our calm mental states and were transformed into the most impatient and frenzied whirling dervishes in Wayne County. With those two words, Uncle Neil set our minds into a frenzy. We had somehow been lulled into a non-Santa centric mental state; probably by our parents, and Uncle Neil would have nothing of it. Molly and I applied our most aggressive “let’s go!” tactics on our parents because our thinking was that the sooner we got home; the sooner Santa would visit our house and we could get on with the “big day.” From that day forward, Uncle Neil’s teasing phrase “Santa … tonight” would be repeated with laughs every Christmas Eve and I have no doubt it will continue to make us smile.
Bill B
Bill B
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Have a story or picture for the blog?
Just send in email form to johndgilmer@gmail.com, and it will post here right away or if you have written anything previously just let us know you would like it posted, and we will try to scan it or retype it as time permits. Pictures are always welcome too!
Thanks
Thanks
The 60's
At one time Neil and I both worked at Perfect Circle / Dana Corporation in Hagerstown and both of us, as newly weds, lived in upstairs three room apartments, within walking distance of our work. ( I believe our rent was $45.00 / month). Our wives were both teachers in New Castle about 12 miles away and rode together to school each day.
Neil & I would walk to one apartment or the other to eat our lunches each day. Well, Neil found a real "good deal" on can goods that somehow had lost their labels and when we opened up a can, we had no idea what it might contain. One day we had peas, and carrots& peas for lunch, just wonderful lunches...
About the girls driving to New Castle; one day Kay drove the "65" Pontiac 2 + 2, straight stick, which she had a lot of problems letting the clutch out too soon, but Kay did manage, anyway she stopped to fill up with gasoline in New Castle and by the time she got home the car was running awful. It seems the tanker had put diesel fuel in the premium station's tank. Neil was not too happy about running diesel fuel through a high performance engine..HA! HA!
We also made a trip together to Montréal Canada to Expo "67" We could not find a hotel within 100 miles to stay so we bought a 9" X 9" umbrella tent to stay in. None of us had ever "camped" before, but it was quite an experience as we took my new "67" Bonneville and packing and repacking every day was a challenge. There just was never room for a certain purple box that Kay had taken along..HA! HA!
Cousin Chris B
Neil & I would walk to one apartment or the other to eat our lunches each day. Well, Neil found a real "good deal" on can goods that somehow had lost their labels and when we opened up a can, we had no idea what it might contain. One day we had peas, and carrots& peas for lunch, just wonderful lunches...
About the girls driving to New Castle; one day Kay drove the "65" Pontiac 2 + 2, straight stick, which she had a lot of problems letting the clutch out too soon, but Kay did manage, anyway she stopped to fill up with gasoline in New Castle and by the time she got home the car was running awful. It seems the tanker had put diesel fuel in the premium station's tank. Neil was not too happy about running diesel fuel through a high performance engine..HA! HA!
We also made a trip together to Montréal Canada to Expo "67" We could not find a hotel within 100 miles to stay so we bought a 9" X 9" umbrella tent to stay in. None of us had ever "camped" before, but it was quite an experience as we took my new "67" Bonneville and packing and repacking every day was a challenge. There just was never room for a certain purple box that Kay had taken along..HA! HA!
Cousin Chris B
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Neil's too!
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill
(Editor's Note: It was previously noted what a fan/student/follower of Churchill Dad was.)
Winston Churchill
(Editor's Note: It was previously noted what a fan/student/follower of Churchill Dad was.)
Update Tuesday November 16, 2010
Neil slept most of the day today. Watched over with loving care by his wife, sister and daughter. The history channel in the background.
Dean
Dean
Hi Neil from Michigan!
I sure love reading your blog! You have some friends who really can write! Of course, we love all of the pictures too.
I'll never forget driving to Green on Thanksgiving weekend before I started student teaching and there was only one teacher working at school - Kay of course! Of all the teachers, the one that I got to student teach for was at school working. I was so excited.
Green felt like it was so far away at the time. I never thought I could drive there every day - little did I know that I would be driving there every day for years to come!
God sure did bring us together - our families. Kay and I are so much alike and you and Chris are so much alike!
I will forever be thankful that Dean and Ellen shared her "mom and dad" and that you became Mimi and Papa to our kids too.
We love you so much!
Love,
Chris, Blaine, Evan, Landon, Nolan and Grace
I sure love reading your blog! You have some friends who really can write! Of course, we love all of the pictures too.
I'll never forget driving to Green on Thanksgiving weekend before I started student teaching and there was only one teacher working at school - Kay of course! Of all the teachers, the one that I got to student teach for was at school working. I was so excited.
Green felt like it was so far away at the time. I never thought I could drive there every day - little did I know that I would be driving there every day for years to come!
God sure did bring us together - our families. Kay and I are so much alike and you and Chris are so much alike!
I will forever be thankful that Dean and Ellen shared her "mom and dad" and that you became Mimi and Papa to our kids too.
We love you so much!
Love,
Chris, Blaine, Evan, Landon, Nolan and Grace
Neil, mon cher ami. I’m so thankful for all the light hearted times, the deep belly laughs and the memories created while knowing you. Of course this is the hunting season and we could be retelling and reliving every one of those old jokes and old memories as done so many times in the past. To blog some of those now just wouldn’t be the same as sitting around the table in a musty old cabin, critters sneaking across the floor and wind and snow blowing through the gaps in the windows and doorways. I think back on all the hours of scouting and building the perfect blinds and wonder why we weren’t more successful. You don’t suppose it had anything to do with time in the field or being deep enough in the woods do you? It is also fun to recall all the work problems solved, strategic plans generated and new product ideas we worked on while in deer camp – undoubtedly a contribution to Eaton’s success, wouldn’t you say? Well, nonetheless, two particular ‘Neil’ memories stick out in my mind at this time:
o The proverbial “full court press into the end zone” – an often joked about work tenet that I’m shocked to see you actually believed in as demonstrated by you and your family so well during these past difficult months.
o Embellishment - what you have always done best. Webster says that embellish is “to heighten the attractiveness of by adding ornamental details”. You have a lot to be proud of and as evidenced by reading these blogs; your life doesn’t need embellishment.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful family.
Bryce
o The proverbial “full court press into the end zone” – an often joked about work tenet that I’m shocked to see you actually believed in as demonstrated by you and your family so well during these past difficult months.
o Embellishment - what you have always done best. Webster says that embellish is “to heighten the attractiveness of by adding ornamental details”. You have a lot to be proud of and as evidenced by reading these blogs; your life doesn’t need embellishment.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful family.
Bryce
It's boombaton time!
Just heard the update on Neil, Our thoughts and prayers are all for Him, you and Family!! Tell Him I am heading up north, and will stop in Ralph and have a burger & drink for him!!
All the beautiful memories of our times together will always be there!!
We all had a beautiful life, and fun times on Ridgeway!!.
Tell Neil I will have a Boomaton for him!!
Life is a gift, and I am glad both of you where in it!!
I know mom and sals will be glad to see him again!
We love you both! Take care and Live Life!!
Billy C
All the beautiful memories of our times together will always be there!!
We all had a beautiful life, and fun times on Ridgeway!!.
Tell Neil I will have a Boomaton for him!!
Life is a gift, and I am glad both of you where in it!!
I know mom and sals will be glad to see him again!
We love you both! Take care and Live Life!!
Billy C
November 15 in Michigan
Yesterday was the most popular unofficial “holiday” in Michigan….opening day of the gun season for deer hunting. I’m not a hunter, so I didn’t even think about it until about 8:00 AM when what sounded like a cannon went off in the woods behind our house. My first thought was that something had exploded, but as my mind processed the sound, a smile came to my lips as I immediately thought of Neil. I have never gone deer hunting, but I feel that I’ve lived the sport vicariously through the tales that I’ve heard from Neil. Including many from the hunting trips made “up north” with his old work pals George M., Bryce B. and Dr. J. that were told and retold. The meticulous planning and execution of those plans by others, wandering far into the woods, that yielded no results vs. Neil’s cavalier approach of staying near the cabin and enjoying a few smokes while waiting to see a deer. All taboos with hunters, as I understand it, but reportedly with better results in Neil’s case. In later years, his mantra was (and I’m paraphrasing), “I just go to have fun with the boys. Who wants to go to all the bother of gutting a deer and dragging it home?” I could tell Neil always had fun because the telling of each tale included several of his famous belly laughs.
Which brings me to another Neilism, one that might have been voiced before, but now in a different context: Bigger is Better! In this case, a bigger gun was always better, maybe not directly involved with the success of the hunt, but certainly for storytelling. Although I’ve never seen it, Neil’s 8 gauge shotgun is a legend in my mind. And his story of getting Dr. J to shoot it and then nurse a sore shoulder for weeks is priceless! The stories, admittedly, have more meaning when you know the characters involved, but Neil loved to tell this particular story around the office where we all lived and worked with the same characters.
Neil, I’m sure that someone is out in the woods this week creating similar stories and memories in your honor. And come to think of it, that “cannon” I heard yesterday morning just might have been an 8 gauge! J
And here are a few more memory starters for Neil that generated many shared laughs in the office:
“Can we call it a……..?”
“You scratched my anchor!” (and other classics from Caddyshack)
Gene Tracy
The Moon Over Mobile (remember Tom K.?)
Enjoy the memories, Neil!
Chuck
Which brings me to another Neilism, one that might have been voiced before, but now in a different context: Bigger is Better! In this case, a bigger gun was always better, maybe not directly involved with the success of the hunt, but certainly for storytelling. Although I’ve never seen it, Neil’s 8 gauge shotgun is a legend in my mind. And his story of getting Dr. J to shoot it and then nurse a sore shoulder for weeks is priceless! The stories, admittedly, have more meaning when you know the characters involved, but Neil loved to tell this particular story around the office where we all lived and worked with the same characters.
Neil, I’m sure that someone is out in the woods this week creating similar stories and memories in your honor. And come to think of it, that “cannon” I heard yesterday morning just might have been an 8 gauge! J
And here are a few more memory starters for Neil that generated many shared laughs in the office:
“Can we call it a……..?”
“You scratched my anchor!” (and other classics from Caddyshack)
Gene Tracy
The Moon Over Mobile (remember Tom K.?)
Enjoy the memories, Neil!
Chuck
Monday, November 15, 2010
Have you polished your gem today?
You know the old saying about pictures and words. But with Neil I think, A great story is worth a 1000 pictures, may be more fitting. A daily tid-bit you told Neil, can, through his mind eye, turn you into an academy award winning actor on a much larger stage. Some of you may have even been given a new persona. Like the Colonel, but there are others. Anyway, that interesting story you told him, often was filled in with much more vivid detail when he returned it back to you as not just a story, but a true gem. Some of these stories I am sure you retell in their revised version given back to you by Neil. Some may last a lifetime. You may be polishing one in your mind's eye now? Enjoy.
Dean
Dean
I am very sad to hear about the continuing decline of your Dad. He is a dear friend and I loved him very much ( don't tell him that - he would think that I had gotten soft in my recently retired state). Worked with him for almost 30 of my 33 years with Eaton. Some of those years were very challenging, but a lot of them were a lot of fun. Neil and I always thought that we could beat the world when it came to making and selling engine valves - him with the selling and me with the making. Of course we needed the technical support of Larry J - kept us from making too many foolish mistakes.
Neil was always there for me when suffered some personal setbacks - would do anything for a friend. Am sad that I can not do anything for him now except pray. Pray I do, every day for Neil - it is all in God's hands now.
You will have to ask him about the time we went shooting at the range. I had never shot anything larger than a 30-06, so Neil decided to break (literally) me in with a 375H&H and a 416!! I did hit the target, as we found out after all the dust settled, and I still have the empty brass. Believe that I still have the bruised shoulder also!!
His motto the "customer print changes are a good thing" has always stuck with me. We were able to make money from some of the most stingy customers when no one else could. Will always remember the stories that Neil and Larry could tell and the fine dinners that we had at the "Prime and Wine" in Mason City. Not sure who could drink more - Larry or Neil, do know it certainly was not me.
Am going to miss him a lot - wonder if he remembers when my 4 year old took the small American flag after we visited during a trip to Disney? We got back to our hotel, and there it was with Stephanie waving it around!!
Ward
Neil was always there for me when suffered some personal setbacks - would do anything for a friend. Am sad that I can not do anything for him now except pray. Pray I do, every day for Neil - it is all in God's hands now.
You will have to ask him about the time we went shooting at the range. I had never shot anything larger than a 30-06, so Neil decided to break (literally) me in with a 375H&H and a 416!! I did hit the target, as we found out after all the dust settled, and I still have the empty brass. Believe that I still have the bruised shoulder also!!
His motto the "customer print changes are a good thing" has always stuck with me. We were able to make money from some of the most stingy customers when no one else could. Will always remember the stories that Neil and Larry could tell and the fine dinners that we had at the "Prime and Wine" in Mason City. Not sure who could drink more - Larry or Neil, do know it certainly was not me.
Am going to miss him a lot - wonder if he remembers when my 4 year old took the small American flag after we visited during a trip to Disney? We got back to our hotel, and there it was with Stephanie waving it around!!
Ward
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday Football Neil Style
As the Vikings get pounded yet again today, of course, this somehow reminds me of Dad. Seems somehow for about 4 or 5 years in a row when the Vikings came to Detroit/Pontiac a certain high school kid was in a luxury suite at the Silverdome eating shrimp and watching the game on closed circuit and live down below.
Thanks Dad and Eaton indirectly.
Dean
P.S. - this is where I first learned the fine art of the traveler, though was unable to practice it at the time. Not sure anything builds more loyalty in a client or friend than a pocketful on the way out?
Thanks Dad and Eaton indirectly.
Dean
P.S. - this is where I first learned the fine art of the traveler, though was unable to practice it at the time. Not sure anything builds more loyalty in a client or friend than a pocketful on the way out?
Impatient Patience
Dear Ellen,
I can't begin to tell you how sad I am of the news on you dad. Although our lives took us to different locations and much time passed between visits Neil was my best of friends. We shared many an evening in either the green 55 Chevy or the 55 Buick. There was usually a pizza to split somewhere in there too. I will truly cherish those visits for the rest of my life. I know I don't have to tell you that you are blessed to have a father like Neil. Probably a little grumpy at times, but always patient when progress was forthcoming. A great man. I will miss that Gilmer chuckle.
Esther & I are coming to Florida to visit the Orlando sister over Thanksgiving. I pray that I will be able to see your dad one more time, but I know his schedule is being managed by a much higher authority. It is important that we remember all of the good times we have shared with your dad.
Larry
(Editor's Note: It is sometimes hard to reconcile Dad's patience with his impatience. To know him well is to experience both sides, both caring in different ways, though one harder to appreciate. This insight by Larry sums up the seeming contradiction in a single sentence. Dad appreciated the brevity. Dean)
_____________
Hi Neil,
It's cold here today. Just put the lawn mower away and brought the snow blower up to the garage. The Tundra period has arrived.It has been a dry fall, but all the local farmers are smiling with $6 corn and $13 beans. Most of the crops were dried in the field this year since we have had no rain since labor day. I fear that meteor logically we will even out in rainfall over the next few months. Unfortunately it will most likely come as snow for us.
Esther & I are coming to Florida to visit her sister over Thanksgiving. I plan on coming down to see you.
Larry
I can't begin to tell you how sad I am of the news on you dad. Although our lives took us to different locations and much time passed between visits Neil was my best of friends. We shared many an evening in either the green 55 Chevy or the 55 Buick. There was usually a pizza to split somewhere in there too. I will truly cherish those visits for the rest of my life. I know I don't have to tell you that you are blessed to have a father like Neil. Probably a little grumpy at times, but always patient when progress was forthcoming. A great man. I will miss that Gilmer chuckle.
Esther & I are coming to Florida to visit the Orlando sister over Thanksgiving. I pray that I will be able to see your dad one more time, but I know his schedule is being managed by a much higher authority. It is important that we remember all of the good times we have shared with your dad.
Larry
(Editor's Note: It is sometimes hard to reconcile Dad's patience with his impatience. To know him well is to experience both sides, both caring in different ways, though one harder to appreciate. This insight by Larry sums up the seeming contradiction in a single sentence. Dad appreciated the brevity. Dean)
_____________
Hi Neil,
It's cold here today. Just put the lawn mower away and brought the snow blower up to the garage. The Tundra period has arrived.It has been a dry fall, but all the local farmers are smiling with $6 corn and $13 beans. Most of the crops were dried in the field this year since we have had no rain since labor day. I fear that meteor logically we will even out in rainfall over the next few months. Unfortunately it will most likely come as snow for us.
Esther & I are coming to Florida to visit her sister over Thanksgiving. I plan on coming down to see you.
Larry
Update Saturday November 12, 2010 (almost midnight)
Dad has had a pretty good day. It started out with pastries from Mike and Lori next door. Thank you. Linda and John M as well as Nancy and Otto C visited. Mom went with Nancy and Otto and myself to the Relay for Life. Mom and Dad had always done that together and ate at the survivor's tent. It wasn't the same, but I think she was glad she went. Though the only thing she wanted was a Chick-fil-A sandwich, and they were sold out.
Ellen says Dad always rallies when visitors come. This was no exception. Confused rarely today, he was very coherent and recalled many things in his googleish mind that escaped our memory or at least our tongues. His sister, Mary Anne, is coming down tomorrow evening. He is pleased, as are we all. (Neil 4 1/2 Mary Anne 1 1/2)
A louder snore has returned. I know Otto in particular was surprised by his firm grip. A strong man, Dad, still. He loves a surprise and to foil other people's plan. He is welcome to alter ours in any way he or He would like.
Dean
Ellen says Dad always rallies when visitors come. This was no exception. Confused rarely today, he was very coherent and recalled many things in his googleish mind that escaped our memory or at least our tongues. His sister, Mary Anne, is coming down tomorrow evening. He is pleased, as are we all. (Neil 4 1/2 Mary Anne 1 1/2)
A louder snore has returned. I know Otto in particular was surprised by his firm grip. A strong man, Dad, still. He loves a surprise and to foil other people's plan. He is welcome to alter ours in any way he or He would like.
Dean
Saturday, November 13, 2010
You are in our prayers
Kay, Dean and Ellen,
May God bless you all as you proceed with Neil on his final journey. I’m sure it will be cherished and will leave him in peace.
With best regards and profound sadness,
Chuck
May God bless you all as you proceed with Neil on his final journey. I’m sure it will be cherished and will leave him in peace.
With best regards and profound sadness,
Chuck
Fugality
An excerpt from a letter Tony G wrote to Neil on his 65th birthday. Steve's golf club story below is part golf and part frugality for sure.
FRUGALITY
I have to recognize that you help me gain a better and profound understanding of life. For instance, I did not really understand the true meaning of the world frugality. Thanks to you, now I know that is a discipline, a behavior that you must practice every day, anytime and apply it to all aspects of life regardless of the financial value. You have convinced me that one could gain pleasure by holding up tight to anything you own without spending lots of money on new things. You further explained that to practice frugality you have to have a serious commitment and adhere to your motto, that "old is good."
The best thing about your frugality is that you do not hide it; in fact you carry it on your sleeve with so much pride and swank. It is like veneration, a religious cult that is admirable.
In fact, you practice such discipline when playing gold so well with clubs dated back to the 70s and prior. Recently, you cleaned your 37 year old golf bag in an effort to use it for 5-10 more years. Also you just refurbished your banged-up metal woods by polishing and repainting them. You went further, and painted them with the leftover silver paint you bought 10 years ago for your Lumina Chevy. Now your metal woods look like new and the woods are not ashamed of the fancy clubs that other golfers exhibit when they join us on the golf course.
Talking about your silver Lumina, I like your swagger when you labeled it "a family heirloom". Such love and pride for your Lumina have encouraged me to preserve the 85 Mercedes that I brought from Puerto Rico 13 years ago. I am feeling so much pride for my car now that it has become family heirloom too. Now I realized the actual value of such a relic and feel grateful to you for such eduction.
When you really taught me such discipline, was when you restored the old golf shoes that were so badly cracked and scratched. Such technique of using bathtub caulking to fill out the cracks and scratches is unique and innovative. If golfers disover that, the golf shoes manufacturers are going broke. You may consider patenting it and therefore make lots of money. I'll be your partner in that project.
(more to come later on this post)
FRUGALITY
I have to recognize that you help me gain a better and profound understanding of life. For instance, I did not really understand the true meaning of the world frugality. Thanks to you, now I know that is a discipline, a behavior that you must practice every day, anytime and apply it to all aspects of life regardless of the financial value. You have convinced me that one could gain pleasure by holding up tight to anything you own without spending lots of money on new things. You further explained that to practice frugality you have to have a serious commitment and adhere to your motto, that "old is good."
The best thing about your frugality is that you do not hide it; in fact you carry it on your sleeve with so much pride and swank. It is like veneration, a religious cult that is admirable.
In fact, you practice such discipline when playing gold so well with clubs dated back to the 70s and prior. Recently, you cleaned your 37 year old golf bag in an effort to use it for 5-10 more years. Also you just refurbished your banged-up metal woods by polishing and repainting them. You went further, and painted them with the leftover silver paint you bought 10 years ago for your Lumina Chevy. Now your metal woods look like new and the woods are not ashamed of the fancy clubs that other golfers exhibit when they join us on the golf course.
Talking about your silver Lumina, I like your swagger when you labeled it "a family heirloom". Such love and pride for your Lumina have encouraged me to preserve the 85 Mercedes that I brought from Puerto Rico 13 years ago. I am feeling so much pride for my car now that it has become family heirloom too. Now I realized the actual value of such a relic and feel grateful to you for such eduction.
When you really taught me such discipline, was when you restored the old golf shoes that were so badly cracked and scratched. Such technique of using bathtub caulking to fill out the cracks and scratches is unique and innovative. If golfers disover that, the golf shoes manufacturers are going broke. You may consider patenting it and therefore make lots of money. I'll be your partner in that project.
(more to come later on this post)
Golf Tips from the Master addendum. Ragged (I mean gently used) Golf Clubs
I would make one addition to Dean's very comprehensive list. Neil prided himself on minimizing his investment in golf clubs. He used all his legendary negotiation skills/tricks to get the best deal from poor distressed proprietors or rummage/garage sales. He then immensely enjoyed telling of his exploits to the dismay of others (who probably paid more for less) like his neighbor friend golfer Tony G ! After I took my FL set of clubs back UPNORTH, I had the honor of playing with a set of clubs he put together from such dealing and I enjoyed every shot and Neil comment along the way !!
Steve Z
Steve Z
It's never too early!
Last November, we were at your folks Nove. 10-12 and your dad had decorated the house early for Christmas- just for us!!! He was so proud of himself and your mom just shook her head. He had Christmas music playing when we arrived, the tree lit and snow falling on the tv. Of course, we were there for sunshine and warm weather!!! It was a wonderful time!! Please tell him about it. I had planned on putting it on the blog this month. Don't know if I should now. Keep us informed. Love you and sending lots of prayers. Jean
(Editor's Note: this is a perfect blog story!)
(Editor's Note: this is a perfect blog story!)
Golf Tips from the Master
Garrett and Johnny,
Papa so wanted to golf with you boys. Although this may not happen, here, I have played more than a few rounds with him and can impart a little Grandpa wisdom around the golf course. The message will be somewhat muted as it comes to you through a filter as opposed to in an experience. His contemporaries likely have better stories, you'll have to ask them. They may not be as instructional, but likely no less educational. Little of this will mean anything to you for another 10-12 years or so. Some of the below wisdoms are Michigan golfing vs. Florida golfing. His game and the 19th hole (I'm sure) were more subdued the further South he got for some reason. Changes in latitudes...
_______________________
Neil on Golf (as interpreted by Dean- through observation, some frustration, and many great times! More of his love of the game and the metaphors for life were passed on to me than his skill. I may have beaten him twice. He was surprised both times, as he should have been. By the way I consider any side of the score card as a victory, (see 11.) below, so its doubtful I ever won 18)
1.) Have confidence in your game. No one else will. The only difference between you and a professional golfer is dedication (i.e. 1000 + swings per day, everyday.)
2.) In competition ensure that your opponent loses confidence in their game. Have a good first hole. Momentum and confidence are huge in golf. Ask them things like what their longest drive is. Complement his huge expensive driver. "You can probably hit that a mile!" Things like that usually work. After a few bad drives, remind him that he may just "need to swing harder."
3.) If playing at a private club "grease" the starter. You'll be glad you did. This ensures things like you are not behind the slowest foursome out there, when you could have gone out on 10 wide open. And you don't cool your heels while people that arrived later seemed to all have a tee time, though they had no more idea when they would arrive after work than you did.
4.) The sand wedge is called that for a reason. If you think you can control the sand wedge around the green you better read the difference between you and a professional golfer again.
5.) The 7 iron is your friend. This universal club can almost be used exclusively once your off the tee, on a short hole. It is great to lay up a decent length shot at the green. Perfect close in to the green as well. There is no need to hit some sky high wedge shot to the green -when a punched 7 will get you closer with more control. Get to know your 7 iron. A sand trap without a lip is the perfect time to pull out the 7. This is the best way to get your friends to question your sanity until it winds up close to the hole! Then it is just demoralizing. It is pretty to make nice shots. But most people ask you how you scored as opposed to did you have a couple nice golf shots.
6.) You will never have a better tasting hot dog than at the turn. Papa never called it a hot dog though, it was a "DOG!"
7.) Spend your money on lessons not some fancy clubs. A good golfer could beat you with clubs made in the early 1900's. Its the swing, not the clubs.
8.) A bad day on the course is better than a great day at work.
9.) Why walk when you can ride. This is an old lesson "it only costs a little more to go first class." But it also speeds up the game. Your Grandpa loved being on the golf course unless there was slow play. I have heard him a few times yell "c'mon" to people on the green. Another reason to rent a cart is you can speed right up close to the green and see what the problem is. Slow players love this tactic. So does Dad. There also is no better way to see where that creek is up ahead than to take the cart on a quick spin.
10.) This relates to 9.) if you have to measure your puts and stand behind it forever, you won't be able to play with Papa. Fast play, can at times, make up for poor scoring. If you like playing play 36 not a slow 18. If you take 5 or 6 practice swings - "c'mon" may be heard from behind. Guess who?
11.) You can always do better on the back 9. Turn the card over. Start again.
12.) Bring a few water balls, and more balls than you think you need. Your partner will need them after 2.) above. Remind him how close the trees are and how big the water hazard is. A $1 ball buys $3 beers on the 19th.
13.) The driving range is never on a hill. You will tons of hill shots, downhill shots, uphill shots. All change the game. Play by yourself when no one is on the course and master these shots one after another. Talk yourself through the shot, how a hill lofts your shot and downhill delofts, etc. This all changes club selection. Your trusty 7 iron just turned into a wedge on that hill. You better remember that.
14.) The 2 or 3 iron is great in reverse when you need a lefty shot around a tree. Practice it.
15.) Grandpa loved a wide open course. He cursed the trees and water if too many. He would ask "where is the windmill and green ball." He just loved looking for a lost ball in a 2 foot high grassy rough. Are you kidding me? he would ask. The ball is a $1 or so, your time is worth more than that. Give a few looks and take a nice drop in a casual game. (This contradicts Neil's frugality scense, but affirms his don't invest in lost cause maxim.) You may have forgotten but you are out here to have fun, not look for stuff. You can do that at home. A super long course is a great course to avoid, especially the older you get.
16.) Watch Caddyshack. You simply can't golf without quoting this movie.
17.) Practice your putting, but encourage others to spend time at the driving range. If you have an hour to practice. Forget the driving range and practice the short game.
18.) If you are having a bad round - your shoulder hurts. This turned out to be true later- bursitis. Though I didn't think so at the time. Doesn't matter still works.
19.) Good news. The whole course is your restroom.
20.) Papa's only hole in one ball is in my closet, with its history, written by him. He said we could use it on short par 3s without water, of course. Ignore wisdom number 15 on this one please. You better find it!
I'm sure more will be added to this through time and as memory becomes clearer.
Dean
Papa so wanted to golf with you boys. Although this may not happen, here, I have played more than a few rounds with him and can impart a little Grandpa wisdom around the golf course. The message will be somewhat muted as it comes to you through a filter as opposed to in an experience. His contemporaries likely have better stories, you'll have to ask them. They may not be as instructional, but likely no less educational. Little of this will mean anything to you for another 10-12 years or so. Some of the below wisdoms are Michigan golfing vs. Florida golfing. His game and the 19th hole (I'm sure) were more subdued the further South he got for some reason. Changes in latitudes...
_______________________
Neil on Golf (as interpreted by Dean- through observation, some frustration, and many great times! More of his love of the game and the metaphors for life were passed on to me than his skill. I may have beaten him twice. He was surprised both times, as he should have been. By the way I consider any side of the score card as a victory, (see 11.) below, so its doubtful I ever won 18)
1.) Have confidence in your game. No one else will. The only difference between you and a professional golfer is dedication (i.e. 1000 + swings per day, everyday.)
2.) In competition ensure that your opponent loses confidence in their game. Have a good first hole. Momentum and confidence are huge in golf. Ask them things like what their longest drive is. Complement his huge expensive driver. "You can probably hit that a mile!" Things like that usually work. After a few bad drives, remind him that he may just "need to swing harder."
3.) If playing at a private club "grease" the starter. You'll be glad you did. This ensures things like you are not behind the slowest foursome out there, when you could have gone out on 10 wide open. And you don't cool your heels while people that arrived later seemed to all have a tee time, though they had no more idea when they would arrive after work than you did.
4.) The sand wedge is called that for a reason. If you think you can control the sand wedge around the green you better read the difference between you and a professional golfer again.
5.) The 7 iron is your friend. This universal club can almost be used exclusively once your off the tee, on a short hole. It is great to lay up a decent length shot at the green. Perfect close in to the green as well. There is no need to hit some sky high wedge shot to the green -when a punched 7 will get you closer with more control. Get to know your 7 iron. A sand trap without a lip is the perfect time to pull out the 7. This is the best way to get your friends to question your sanity until it winds up close to the hole! Then it is just demoralizing. It is pretty to make nice shots. But most people ask you how you scored as opposed to did you have a couple nice golf shots.
6.) You will never have a better tasting hot dog than at the turn. Papa never called it a hot dog though, it was a "DOG!"
7.) Spend your money on lessons not some fancy clubs. A good golfer could beat you with clubs made in the early 1900's. Its the swing, not the clubs.
8.) A bad day on the course is better than a great day at work.
9.) Why walk when you can ride. This is an old lesson "it only costs a little more to go first class." But it also speeds up the game. Your Grandpa loved being on the golf course unless there was slow play. I have heard him a few times yell "c'mon" to people on the green. Another reason to rent a cart is you can speed right up close to the green and see what the problem is. Slow players love this tactic. So does Dad. There also is no better way to see where that creek is up ahead than to take the cart on a quick spin.
10.) This relates to 9.) if you have to measure your puts and stand behind it forever, you won't be able to play with Papa. Fast play, can at times, make up for poor scoring. If you like playing play 36 not a slow 18. If you take 5 or 6 practice swings - "c'mon" may be heard from behind. Guess who?
11.) You can always do better on the back 9. Turn the card over. Start again.
12.) Bring a few water balls, and more balls than you think you need. Your partner will need them after 2.) above. Remind him how close the trees are and how big the water hazard is. A $1 ball buys $3 beers on the 19th.
13.) The driving range is never on a hill. You will tons of hill shots, downhill shots, uphill shots. All change the game. Play by yourself when no one is on the course and master these shots one after another. Talk yourself through the shot, how a hill lofts your shot and downhill delofts, etc. This all changes club selection. Your trusty 7 iron just turned into a wedge on that hill. You better remember that.
14.) The 2 or 3 iron is great in reverse when you need a lefty shot around a tree. Practice it.
15.) Grandpa loved a wide open course. He cursed the trees and water if too many. He would ask "where is the windmill and green ball." He just loved looking for a lost ball in a 2 foot high grassy rough. Are you kidding me? he would ask. The ball is a $1 or so, your time is worth more than that. Give a few looks and take a nice drop in a casual game. (This contradicts Neil's frugality scense, but affirms his don't invest in lost cause maxim.) You may have forgotten but you are out here to have fun, not look for stuff. You can do that at home. A super long course is a great course to avoid, especially the older you get.
16.) Watch Caddyshack. You simply can't golf without quoting this movie.
17.) Practice your putting, but encourage others to spend time at the driving range. If you have an hour to practice. Forget the driving range and practice the short game.
18.) If you are having a bad round - your shoulder hurts. This turned out to be true later- bursitis. Though I didn't think so at the time. Doesn't matter still works.
19.) Good news. The whole course is your restroom.
20.) Papa's only hole in one ball is in my closet, with its history, written by him. He said we could use it on short par 3s without water, of course. Ignore wisdom number 15 on this one please. You better find it!
I'm sure more will be added to this through time and as memory becomes clearer.
Dean
The GrandKids
Dear Papa Neil,
Hi its Samantha Papa ,I love you so much.I hope you are having a good time with my dad their.I wish i could see you know and maybe get a bear hug.Oh and i really wanted to tell you something that I think you might like.I was watching the alpacas yesterday and Papa Ken said that he had a new i pad its like an i pod and he had a app that you can look up at the sky and it would show you all the constelations it was so cool i saw the moon and some other stars.I am praying for you every night and i hope you get feeling better.I love you and miss you.
love,
Samantha
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hello this is Emily, i love you so much! And i wish i could come and see you so much. Well i hope you will feel better soon! and i wish you a good day. The squirrls in your back yard are so cute. Have they broke the screen yet? Love Emily. And i miss you so much dad, ellen and Mimi.
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Hello Papa Neil,
I love you! I hope you get feeling better. I miss you and your bear hugs.
Love you, bye
John
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I miss you I love you. Sorry we didn't come to Florida.
I really really miss you.I wish we could play golf together.
Sorry you are sick
I love you, Garrett( typed by mom)
Hi its Samantha Papa ,I love you so much.I hope you are having a good time with my dad their.I wish i could see you know and maybe get a bear hug.Oh and i really wanted to tell you something that I think you might like.I was watching the alpacas yesterday and Papa Ken said that he had a new i pad its like an i pod and he had a app that you can look up at the sky and it would show you all the constelations it was so cool i saw the moon and some other stars.I am praying for you every night and i hope you get feeling better.I love you and miss you.
love,
Samantha
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hello this is Emily, i love you so much! And i wish i could come and see you so much. Well i hope you will feel better soon! and i wish you a good day. The squirrls in your back yard are so cute. Have they broke the screen yet? Love Emily. And i miss you so much dad, ellen and Mimi.
________________
Hello Papa Neil,
I love you! I hope you get feeling better. I miss you and your bear hugs.
Love you, bye
John
__________________
I miss you I love you. Sorry we didn't come to Florida.
I really really miss you.I wish we could play golf together.
Sorry you are sick
I love you, Garrett( typed by mom)
A Plan
Dad always had a plan. So, absent a better one, here is what we have found to help him. (Link at right upper of page.)
But his plans were never textbook. So there will be as much laughing as we can tolerate, and, of course, classical music in the background.
Dean
But his plans were never textbook. So there will be as much laughing as we can tolerate, and, of course, classical music in the background.
Dean
Illegal Cat in an Alligator Zone
Just read today's post to Dad. His sense of direction, impeccable, made him laugh at Magellan's comment. He may never have been scolded by her.
Dog's barking next door and Ellen's cat meowing in the entry. Dad loves animals, but not so much in the house. He said that there was an "illegal cat in an alligator zone." The cat/cats made few appearances here when Dad was more mobile.
Don't tell Dad, but the cat is pregnant. Hence its visit. And soon there will be quite a few more than just the one!
Dean
Dog's barking next door and Ellen's cat meowing in the entry. Dad loves animals, but not so much in the house. He said that there was an "illegal cat in an alligator zone." The cat/cats made few appearances here when Dad was more mobile.
Don't tell Dad, but the cat is pregnant. Hence its visit. And soon there will be quite a few more than just the one!
Dean
Update Saturday November 13, 2010
Neil slept most of the night without pain, or asking for pain medicine. He had been in some pain over the last several days. Neil's beloved nurse Rose told him that she would still come to see him daily even though hospice has removed her from her position on a professional basis. His visiting angel Carisie also will still be helping. Ellen and I went on a wild goose chase for the strong pain medicine yesterday - 1 pharmacy in Central Florida had it, no pharmacy would tell us over the phone if they had it for "security reasons." Amy and Andy G showed up shortly after we left on our hoped for trip to the local pharmacy that turned into a two hour fiasco led by GPS Magellan who often said "when possible make a legal U-turn"?! Some weren't the later. Mom always says an Angel shows up when needed, we had no idea Amy and Andy would be here, so she was right. Another Angel, Ellen, slept in the room with Mom and Dad, all night, adding much comfort to both, but likely little to her back, as the couch is maybe five feet long.
Neil was fairly alert yesterday, but less so this morning. His legendary snoring has quieted considerably. None of us thought we would ever miss that. We were wrong.
Dean
Neil was fairly alert yesterday, but less so this morning. His legendary snoring has quieted considerably. None of us thought we would ever miss that. We were wrong.
Dean
Friday, November 12, 2010
Sad Update Friday November 12, 2010
Neil has been unable to get out of bed for a few days now. He had a Dr's appointment today with the oncologist, though he was unable to attend. We had hoped and prayed for a miracle, but, as of now, it has not occurred. The Dr informed us that chemotherapy is not working. Despite massive effort from medicine where it is today and Neil's determination, the battle is now in God's hands. Neil was still up for a fight as of this morning, and he has not given up, though it appears that his body is quitting him prematurely. He, and all of us, are only slowly coming to grips with the inevitable. Ellen, Mom and myself were here to give him the shattering news.
Prayers, of course, are needed more now than before. We are meeting with hospice later today. We accept that Dad will have days with us as opposed to months or years. He is still communicating well when we all are not contemplating what lies ahead in his journey.
With Love, and thanking all of you for your love and concern through these trying months,
Dean
Prayers, of course, are needed more now than before. We are meeting with hospice later today. We accept that Dad will have days with us as opposed to months or years. He is still communicating well when we all are not contemplating what lies ahead in his journey.
With Love, and thanking all of you for your love and concern through these trying months,
Dean
Monday, November 8, 2010
Update Monday November 8, 2010
Neil is home from the hospital...very tired from the chemo this week. Thanks to all of you for your prayers. Let's focus our prayers on his strength and being able to walk again. That would make him so happy. love to all, Kay
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Update Sunday November 7, 2010
Neil finished his chemo today and had a catscan. We waited all day for the results and I finally came home tonight to get some sleep after being there all night and most of today. Hopefully everything will be alright and he'll come home on Monday. The nurses give him Lobster Thermador and Cherries Jubilee through his feeding tube so they're having fun. Thanks to the Mongovens and Stracks for visiting.
love to all. Kay
love to all. Kay
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Update Saturday November 6, 2010
Neil is having his chemo all day today and may go home tomorrow..not sure. He seems to be feeling better and Carice reports that he makes the nurses laugh. She is with him during the day and I'm there at night. Please continue with the prayers as we have a long way to go. Thanks to all. love, Kay
Friday, November 5, 2010
Update Friday November 5, 2010
Neil had a lot of abdomen pain last night but the meds helped a bit...not sure why this is happening. I stayed the night and Carice will be there 7:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. so I can get some sleep. He has VRE so we have to wear gowns and gloves to enter. He's receiving chemo in room 5107. Dan Strack and the Geaches visited yesterday and Pastor LeeAnn and Dan R. have been to visit. He's sleeping a lot of course.
Kay
Kay
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Update November 3, 2010
Neil remains in Dr. Phillips hospital. He has moved to room 5107, the chemo floor. We are hoping that his magnesium, potassium and blood cell counts are adequate that he can start chemo in the hospital this week. It has been confirmed that he did not have a heart attack but he is experiencing some pain in his abdomen. Kay
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tickle his whiskers!
I was at Lion Country Safari yesterday and had the chance to tickle the giraffe whiskers just like dad would! LOL He was so cute and soft… Ellen
Neil, always able to find a ticklish spot, in man or animal, LOVED to tickle the whiskers of any animal. One time at a drive through petting zoo a Giraffe bent over for some affection to the driver window and got some, but more importantly the Giraffe met Neil. Not sure if anyone else had ever tickled the giraffe's whiskers before.
Also, the hair between the pad on any dog's paw is never safe from Neil. If you haven't done this - do it today, just barely tickling the hair on a dog's paw drives them crazy. Now my kids and I can never see a dog's paw without doing this. The dog's leg recoils as it can barely stand it, but they appear to like it, as they almost always return for more.
Dean
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Update Tuesday November 2, 2010
Neil is in room 3032 (Dr Phillips Hospital), intensive care unit. He is only in intensive care as there were no other rooms, not for his condition. He is allowed 2 visitors at a time, though visitors must wear a yellow gown, as he is being tested for MRSA again. The test is just a precaution as he has been in and out of the hospital so many times. Neil was dehydrated and weak upon entry but is doing a little better now as he begins to regain his strength yet again. We are hopeful he will be going home by mid to late week.
Dean
Dean
Monday, November 1, 2010
Update Monday November 1, 2010
Neil is in the hospital- Dr Phillips. He is somewhat dehydrated and is complaining of chest pain, though the EKG looks good so far.
Dean
Dean
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